Colours of the Night
by Lady Fuschia
Summary: Remus Lupin wants to be saved, so does Lucius malfoy. But in a world that is determined to drive them apart can they survive? now completed!
1. Default Chapter

(A/N) Okay, this is my first try at a really long chaptered fic so be gentle. It's set during the marauder era although I am also working on a Draco time fic this is the one I've been concentrating on most. I want to thank all you guys who have reviewed my other work. It really helps! So everyone feel free and please do review this time! Love from Wildmoonflower.  
  
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CHAPER ONE: Blue as blue  
  
The night came quickly for Remus Lupin, he loved the day. When it was daytime he could pretend that he was just like anyone else. But when the night arrived with it came the moon and that reminded him. He wasn't like everyone else, he was a werewolf, a creature hated and feared throughout the world. His happiness, he believed ended each time the sun set below the mountains.  
  
He sat in a large chair in the common room, a small honey-haired figure looking for all the world like he was trying to sink through the red fabric and into the chair itself. The half moon cast silver light here and there but most of the common room was in shadow. In one of these shadows, by the far wall Sirius Black stood watching his friend. Sirius was concerned about Remus, each day he saw the younger boy withdrawing further and further from the rest of the world. He longed to help him but didn't know how. Sirius was no good at that kind of thing; he was good at practical jokes and flirting with the girls, not comforting friends in pain.  
  
With a small sigh Remus curled further into the chair and Sirius was startled out of his thoughts. Casting one last look at his pale friend Sirius turned and headed back up to the dormitory.  
  
"Hey!" James said as he came in. "Where were you?"  
  
"Nowhere" Sirius answered slipping back under the warm covers of his bed and curling into them. They were warm and Sirius quickly felt sleep tugging at his mind.  
  
"You weren't nowhere," James said, annoyed. "You were somewhere."  
  
"Night James." Sirius mumbled before drawing the curtains on his bed.  
  
With a sigh James Potter flopped back down onto his pillows. What in the world was going on with Sirius?  
  
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The next morning Remus arrived late to breakfast, he paused as he found his friends staring at him. "What?" he asked nervously. Sirius shrugged and James passed him the toast. Remus took it without a word, it was raining outside and Remus was soaked to the skin. "Were you outside Moony?" Sirius asked him, just noticing his normally dry friend's bedraggled appearance. Remus nodded and took a drink. He didn't like his friends questioning and right now both Sirius and James had that sort of 'what is going on with Remus' look in their eyes. He closed his amber eyes to block out their stares and calmly sipped his drink.  
  
He had been outside, in the forest earlier that morning. The rain had fallen around him, crystal droplets falling from the silver clouds like tears. Dripping through the emerald leaves and landing with soft splashes on the muddy ground. Sometimes they had landed on him, trickling down his honey and silver hair, resting like diamonds on his eyelashes and soaking his Hogwarts cloak. They had felt refreshing, cool relief to his forever burning skin. Stretching his long pale arms out he had twirled, the crystal drops falling faster and faster, the wind picking up speed and swirling emerald and amber leaves about his spinning form. Up above the clouds had rumbled and the lightning cracked white-gold across the sky but Remus had not cared. He had kept on spinning, his long fingers wet with rainwater, his hair turning into tails down his back he had kept on spinning, and spinning...he had been free.  
  
"Remus?" came James's worried voice, interrupting his thoughts. Startled, Remus's amber eyes snapped open fear flickering across their golden surface for an instant before regaining their normal calm. "Are you okay?" James asked his brown eyes looking confused.  
  
Remus nodded, "I'm fine...fine" he said before standing abruptly. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to go to the library before class." With that he left the great hall, Sirius, James and Peter staring at his retreating figure with puzzled looks on their faces.  
  
++++++++  
  
The Library was empty, the library was always empty. That was why Remus liked it so much; he could enjoy the silence and the solitude. Being alone was something he had been used to since he was a child; it was still new to him having James and Sirius around all the time. When he was a child his parents had been distant, they had never wanted a child and one who was a werewolf? Well they had decided that it was best to keep such a child hidden from the outside world until the time came for him to attend school. He had spent most of his days in his father's musty old library reading all sorts of books from muggle fiction to advanced spell books.  
  
That was why Remus felt so comfortable in the school library, it reminded him of home. He chose a book and sat down at one of the tables. He looked to see what he had picked. Remus sighed, written on the cover in scratched gold writing were the words 'Werewolf Lore- a Guide to Dark Creatures'. With a sigh he pushed the book away and lay his head down on the hard surface of the table. Closing his eyes he gently drifted off to sleep.  
  
In his dream Remus was lying down, his arms resting above his head. Blinking he opened his eyes slowly taking in the bright sunlight. Finally his eyes were wide awake and he studied his surroundings. He was lying in a field. A field of bright dazzling green grass, as pure a green as you could ever find. The sky was blue, as blue as, well blue. It was the very essence of the colour, there was no other way to describe it. And the sun, the sun was closer than it should be, Remus knew that. But it wasn't burning him, it was just warm, he felt warm and happy. With a cry of laughter Remus leapt to his feet. The grass reached nearly to his waist and Remus ran through it letting the silky tips brush the ends of his fingers as he moved. Then Remus felt something hit his shoulder gently. Looking around he saw a pink blossom petal resting on the grass. Picking it up Remus stroked his thumb over it relishing in the feel of its cool softness. Then more began to fall until it was raining blossom petals. Remus held his slim arms out and smiled as the petals drifted over them. He made a strange picture this small, fae like boy standing in a bright green field, covered in pink petals, a smile on his face and a weight lifted from his shoulders.  
  
A loud bang ripped Remus from his dream into reality. In fright his head snapped up and he found himself staring into a pair of slanted silver eyes. Blinking Remus took in the rest of the figure in front of him. A pale, aristocratically pointed face, long white-gold hair and black Hogwarts robes with the Slytherin emblem sewn onto them. "M...Malfoy!" Remus exclaimed clambering hurriedly out of the seat. While Lucius was only one year older than him, Remus still feared the blond Slytherin seventh year. Everyone did, it was something that Lucius expected. However Lucius sighed as he watched the honey haired Gryffindor, a pale eyebrow rising on his face.  
  
"You don't have to leave Lupin. I just thought I should wake you and see if you felt like going to class at all today." Lucius drawled in his upper class English accent.  
  
Suddenly Remus forgot his fear and a panic overtook him. "How many classes have I missed?" he asked, dreading the answer.  
  
"Well," Lucius drawled. "Since I'm assuming you've been here since breakfast then I would say you've missed about four. Its lunchtime now you know."  
  
In frustration Remus tugged at his still damp hair, how could he have missed so many classes? Then the wetness of his robes hit him with a sudden shock and he started to shiver.  
  
"Honestly," Lucius sighed. "You Gryffindors are all idiots!" The blond Slytherin opened his schoolbag and pulled out a dark green jumper. "I'll lend you this." He told Remus, handing the younger boy the warm jumper. They were about the same size so Lucius was sure it would fit. "You can bring it back to me tomorrow."  
  
Remus studied the Slytherin for a few seconds, trying to determine if the boy had cursed the jumper or not but eventually he accepted. Motioning for Lucius to turn around he began to take of his robes and the wet shirt underneath.  
  
"Oh honestly Lupin! Who would want to look?" Lucius scoffed as he turned around anyway.  
  
When Remus had finished changing he stuffed his wet clothes into his bag and slung it ungracefully over his shoulder.  
  
"You look better in green." Lucius said with a smirk, "Perhaps you should have been a Slytherin Lupin."  
  
Remus blushed and thanked the older boy for his jumper before he left the library quickly, hoping to catch his friends at lunch.  
  
++++++++  
  
The Great hall was crowded when Remus reached it. He entered slowly, glancing around the Gryffindor table for a few minutes before he found his friends. They were sitting at the opposite end from where he was standing, laughing uproariously about something. Probably a joke Sirius and James had played on someone. Remus still felt like an outsider with them sometimes, they were all so carefree with no problems and he well, he wanted to be that way but he wasn't. With a sigh Remus made his way down to the empty seat beside Peter.  
  
"Hi." James said as he sat down. Remus nodded at them in greeting, he hoped they didn't ask him where he had been. He didn't want to explain that he had fallen asleep in the library.  
  
James studied his friend for a few seconds before deciding to leave the matter of Remus's disappearing act for later when they could be alone. He needed to talk to Remus he decided. Something was definitely up; it wasn't like Remus to skip class.  
  
Sirius however was still staring at his small, shy friend. "What happened to your robes?" he asked. Remus blinked as if surprised by the question but then he answered. "They were wet."  
  
"I see," Sirius said. "So you just decided to pop on a Slytherin coloured jumper then?"  
  
"Leave it Padfoot." James said with warning in his voice, they could question Remus later but now, at the lunch table with everyone listening was not the best time.  
  
"No!" Sirius said. He was concerned about his friend. Remus had to understand that he couldn't just disappear and come back wearing Slytherin jumpers and not expect to give an explanation. "Let him tell us now!"  
  
Remus took on a kind of panicked expression, his large amber eyes flickered from Sirius to James to Peter to Sirius looking for some kind of help. Then he visibly shook and stood. Pushing his chair back he ran out of the hall leaving his friends very confused for the second time that day.  
  
But someone else was also watching his hasty departure from the Great Hall. It was Lucius just entering the hall for his Lunch. His liquid silver eyes narrowed as he watched the shy Gryffindor run past him.  
  
++++++++  
  
Remus ran out the Great hall, he ran out of the entrance hall and down the steps leading to the castle grounds. The storm was still raging outside and the wind sent leaves hurtling past him, the rain stung his face as he ran. He ran and ran, as far as he could get his feet to carry him. Eventually he collapsed beside the lake tired, cold and just plain worn out. Lying flat on his back in the mud he stared up at the grey sky not even shivering as the rain fell harder and harder down on his delicate form. Every so often lightning would flash across the sky illuminating the world below. Remus smiled and then closed his eyes. At the next crack of lightning he screamed, a scream which seemed to go on forever fuelled by his pain, his loneliness and his hatred of the world. A scream he thought no one else heard. But someone did.  
  
Lucius Malfoy stood a little further off from the figure lying in the mud. The wind whipped his white-gold hair around his milky-white face as he watched. He had never thought about Lupin much before but now it seemed that that boy was seriously in need of a helping hand, and so Lucius admitted to himself, was he.  
  
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End of chapter one.  
  
(A/N) okay please review. Remus is obviously in pain right? I know I haven't exactly told you the reasons yet but they come in later chapters. I know this one was kind of short but the next one will be longer. So please review and keep the author happy!! 


	2. Summer sunshine, stones and sand

(A/N) Ok here is the second chapter. Don't worry if you find this story a bit weird most of my stories are like that. I forgot to disclaim in the last one so here goes- I own none of these characters they are the property of JK Rowling and Warner Brothers I am making no money off of this fic. Blah blah blah. If you sue me you will get NOTHING cos I own NOTHING except for a carton of raspberry calypso juice. God Bless you all. Love Wildmoonflower.  
  
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CHAPTER TWO: Summer Sunshine, Stones and Sand  
  
Lucius loved to lie. He had always been good at it, since he was born. It was all he knew it was as simple as that. He lied when he was injured or in trouble. He lied about homework, he lied about his parents. He lied to Dumbledore, he lied to his friends. Sometimes he even lied to himself. He lied because he couldn't face the truth. Any truth, lies were much easier to handle. Lucius sighed and stared at his reflection in the mirror.  
  
Pale he was, too pale it sometimes seemed. His eyes were wide and silver with an upwards tint at the edges which he had inherited from his mother. His hair was long and white-gold in colour falling straight down his back and then ending in delicate curls just at his waist. Normally he tied it back with a black of green ribbon. He was thin, too thin maybe? He prodded his nose which was fine and aristocratically pointed. Lucius frowned, his delicate mouth scrunching as he did so. Everything about him screamed 'Malfoy'. Lucius scowled and picked up his brush. Yanking it violently through his already silky hair he turned away from the offending mirror. When he was finished he tied his hair back using a silver ribbon for a change.  
  
Setting his brush down Lucius flopped onto the bed. He still had about an hour before the first Hogsmeade trip of the year and he didn't want any breakfast, sleep appealed to him far more.  
  
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Remus awoke feeling stiff and cold but at the same time strangely warm. He wriggled his fingers and felt something slimy. Opening his eyes he glanced about him. He was outside lying in the mud beside the lake. The storm had long ended and now the sun was casting a golden glow over everything in sight, making the blue waters of the lake shine and sparkle as they moved. Remus sighed, had he been out all night? Shaking his head he got to his feet gingerly trying to brush the mud off his jumper....his jumper! But it wasn't his jumper at all it was Lucius Malfoy's and Remus doubted that the pure-blooded Slytherin would appreciate getting it back in the state that it was in.  
  
Remus pulled his wand out of his bag and waved it over himself muttering a spell to clear away any mud. This still left him damp though and Remus did not know any spells to dry himself. Luckily the sun's warm rays were already beginning to dry him and Remus smiled up at the sky. He loved the sun and hated the moon. The night held nothing but pain for him but the sun, sometimes it felt like the sun could melt it all away. But that's all it was, a feeling. It wasn't really true, it was a lie.  
  
Slowly he made his way toward the school getting ready to return Lucius's jumper. Once inside the great stone building he made his way downstairs toward the dungeons. As he neared the Slytherin common room Remus remembered that he didn't know the password. Luckily at that moment Snape was walking out from behind the hidden door.  
  
"What do you want Lupin?" Snape sneered, regarding the smaller boy with disdain.  
  
"I have...well that is I came to see Malfoy. I have something of his."  
  
Snape raised one this eyebrow the sneer deepened on his gaunt, sallow face. "What could you possibly have of his?" he asked looking at the boy with disgust.  
  
Remus looked at him pleadingly, aware that his friends would be wondering where he was. "Please, just let me in!" he cried.  
  
Rolling his obsidian eyes Snape whispered some hidden words to the stone gargoyle and the door in the wall slid open. Remus thanked him and stepped inside. "His room is up the stairs to the left. Just ignore the others if they try anything." Snape told him.  
  
"Thanks." Remus said hesitantly. Snape shrugged as if embarrassed and then he walked down the hall, his cloak billowing behind him, leaving Remus alone. Squaring his shoulders Remus followed Snape's directions until he came to a small dark wooden door. He knocked twice and almost didn't hear the lazy drawl from inside telling him to come in. The room he entered was rather big and it was decorated with Slytherin banners. A large sofa sat before a roaring fire and upon the large four poster bed lay the slight figure of Lucius Malfoy.  
  
As Remus entered Lucius sat up quickly, regarding the younger boy with vague interest. "What?" he asked.  
  
"I...I came to return your jumper." Remus stammered nervously. He pointed to the said jumper which was still damp and, Remus realised, still on him.  
  
"Really?" Lucius asked, raising his eyebrow. "And what do you plan on wearing after you've given it to me?" Remus blushed in embarrassment and Lucius smiled. "Keep it if you like," he said. "I have dozens."  
  
"Thanks." Remus said wondering why Malfoy was being so nice to him, before he had always been mean and spiteful. But no that was wrong; Malfoy had been mean to Sirius and James. He had just ignored Remus.  
  
"Are you going to Hogsmeade?" Lucius's silky voice cut through his train of thought. Hogsmeade! Remus sighed, he had forgotten about that. Sirius and James would be waiting for him.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Remus sighed. Lucius stood up and looked at him. Remus felt uncomfortable and looked away.  
  
"I like the river in Hogsmeade." Lucius said. Remus looked up sharply; he had not expected him to say that. Lucius's silver eyes looked faraway as he said "There's this sandy bit, down by the oak trees which, when the sun shines on them cast everything in a warm green light. It's so...peaceful." Suddenly Lucius seemed to remember who was with him and he smirked, not so much at Remus but at himself. "Anyway," he said. "You'd better leave; Black and Potter will be waiting."  
  
Remus nodded and left the room. Wandering through the corridors to the Great hall he thought of nothing except the strange look that had taken over Lucius's features as he had talked about the river. Lost in thought he didn't even notice when he bumped into a body decidedly taller than his own.  
  
"Moony?" came the voice of Sirius and Remus glanced up to see that it was indeed his friend that he had bumped into. "Where have you been all night?" Sirius asked, concern marring his handsome features.  
  
Remus shrugged "Nowhere." He mumbled.  
  
James sighed "Seems everyone's going nowhere these days," he said. "But nobody ever goes somewhere."  
  
"What are you on about Prongs?" Sirius asked him not taking his dark blue eyes off Remus for an instant. He was desperately worried about the little werewolf but he didn't know how to show it. If only Remus would confide in him. "Why can't you tell us Remus?" he asked pleadingly.  
  
The smaller boy gazed at him with a pained look in his large eyes. "Because I can't Sirius that's all there is to it."  
  
For a moment they stared at each other, amber staring into sapphire, neither backing down and then Peter, who was bored, said "Can we go now? Everyone else is leaving." Tearing his eyes away Sirius nodded and he joined James to walk down in front of Remus and Peter. The journey to Hogsmeade was uneventful, Remus was silent and Peter did not dare to ask questions. Peter was rather afraid of Remus, well, not Remus himself but the creature inside him. It terrified Peter to think that he slept in the same room as a werewolf every night.  
  
A few paces behind, surrounded by a group of Slytherins walked Lucius Malfoy. Elegant as ever Lucius's silver eyes watched Remus like a hawk. He couldn't think why he wanted to help the Gryffindor, there was no sane reason that he could think of. It was just that somewhere some part of him felt that maybe; if he saved Remus then Remus would save him and Lucius desperately wanted to be saved.  
  
Lucius looked up as he saw a white petal drift past him to the ground. They were walking through a gathering of white blossom trees. The petals drifted down around them, floating lazily in the hazy summer air and then, just as if time slowed down Remus glanced behind him and met Lucius's eyes. For a moment it seemed as though it was just them, surrounded by falling petals, all alone in the world. Then the moment ended and Remus smiled shyly before turning back to his friends. Confused, Lucius reached out to catch a petal, sniffing it he smiled, it smelt of vanilla.  
  
++++++++++  
  
After they had been around all the necessary shops Remus, James, Sirius and Peter headed to the Three Broomsticks. Remus had bought nothing; he had simply walked around in a kind of daze not really thinking about anything. The others however had stocked up on fizzing whizzbees, chocolate frogs and the like. Once they had been seated in a quiet corner of the pub a small brunette waitress came over to take their order. Since Sirius was too busy fighting with Peter over a new 'limited edition' strawberry chocolate frog James took it upon himself to order four Butterbeers.  
  
When the drinks had arrived and the strawberry frog had been eaten the light hearted conversation turned serious. Sirius, who was tired of waiting for answers from his honey haired friend turned to face him.  
  
Remus, who had been sitting quietly up until that point idly playing with a lock of hair hanging in front of his eyes looked up in surprise.  
  
"Is it, y'know....the 'thing'?" Sirius asked trying for what he thought was a sympathetic tone.  
  
Remus bristled and glared at his friend, "What 'thing'?" he snapped. He knew perfectly well what Sirius was talking about but to hear that part of him described in such a way annoyed him to no end.  
  
Sirius looked rather ashamed for a second, his blue eyes looking towards a silent James for support before turning back to Remus. "Sorry Remy I just didn't know if you would want me to mention it in, well in here with all these people round about."  
  
Remus nodded, "It's alright Padfoot, sorry I snapped but frankly I don't think it's any of your business what my problem is." As soon as Remus finished speaking he knew he had said the wrong thing. Sirius's face took on a hurt look and his hand tightened around his butterbeer bottle. However it was James who spoke.  
  
"Of course it's our business Remus," he said softly. "You are our friend, any problems you have affect us all whether you want them to or not."  
  
Remus's amber eyes snapped over to meet James's honest brown ones. "Well," he choked. "I'm sorry for being such a burden to you all."  
  
To James and Sirius's dismay Remus then proceeded to shove his chair back and practically run out of the pub leaving his untouched drink on the table. "Remus! I didn't mean it like that!" James shouted after his friend but it was no use, Remus had already disappeared. Sharing a look James and Sirius sighed simultaneously and took a long sip of their drinks.  
  
"Maybe it's that time of the month?" Peter suggested. Sirius and James just stared at him.  
  
+++++++++  
  
Remus was running, running past the crowds of students gathered in the streets who pointed at him as he moved. He didn't quite know where he was going but his feet seemed to be leading him somewhere anyway. With a small cry he finally collapsed on his knees on the ground. He felt like he was going to burst into a million different pieces. It was like there was a ticking time bomb inside him that he couldn't switch off and that one day would explode and there would be nothing left of him at all. With a gut wrenching sigh Remus buried his head in his hands. He wasn't really angry with James or Sirius he just, he had felt so claustrophobic and trapped in the pub and their constant questions did not help. He needed space but everywhere seemed to be crowded.  
  
"Lupin?" said a hesitant upper class accent from behind him. Remus looked up to see Lucius standing behind him, loose strands of blond hair floating about his face in the summer breeze.  
  
"Hello." Remus said quietly. Raising his golden eyebrows Lucius sat down on the sand next to the Gryffindor. It was then that Remus took a few moments to become aware of his surroundings. They were beside a clear crystal blue river which bubbled gently along making soft gurgling noises as it passed over the smooth rocks. They were sitting on a small sandy bank; the sand was golden in colour and was dotted here and there with small stones and leaves that had fallen from the oak trees overhead. "Hey," Remus said. "This is the place..."  
  
"Yes." Lucius nodded smiling slightly. "Why did you come here?" he asked regarding Remus curiously.  
  
Remus shrugged his shoulders and played with the sand at his feet letting the soft grains slide through his fingers and then picking them up again and repeating the motion. "I didn't mean to, I just needed some space."  
  
Lucius nodded "Everyone needs space." He said before picking up a small, flat stone and walking over to the water's edge. With a small smirk meant only for himself he flung the stone watching in satisfaction as it skimmed across the clear blue water leaving a trail of circles in its wake before dropping beneath the surface, joining the other pebbles below.  
  
"I love the sun." Remus said for no reason at all, it just seemed something he wanted to share with the Slytherin. Lucius regarded him for an instant before turning back to the water.  
  
"What about the moon?" he asked.  
  
Remus shook his head fervently "No." he whispered. "There is no beauty in the moon, no colours in the night."  
  
"You're wrong." Lucius said simply before skimming another stone across the river.  
  
Remus studied the boy standing a few meters in front of him. The oak trees were indeed casting a strange green light over everything in sight including Lucius. The boy standing before him, cast in a strange greenish glow seemed to want to listen. Not just listen to Remus but to everything. Remus wondered why he had ever been scared of such a boy. Dropping the sand that still remained in his slim hands Remus rose and walked slowly over to Lucius who handed him a small flat stone. "I can show you." Lucius said quietly.  
  
"How to skim a pebble?" Remus asked, only half joking.  
  
"I can show you the night." Lucius said. The night was where he truly belonged and Remus, however he said he felt about the moon seemed to Lucius to have some sort of connection with it as well.  
  
"Alright." Remus said before throwing his stone into the river. It landed with a small plop and the two boys stood in silence, the green light playing over their skin. The sun shone heavily down on them and, caught by the lazy breeze a dozen emerald oak leaves drifted past them to sail down the glittering waters of the river.  
  
+++++++++  
  
That night Lucius stared out of the window of his room. The moon complimented his features giving him a strange, ethereal look. The grounds of the castle were silent at night and Lucius cherished this silence. Noise was all well and good but sometimes silence said so much more. Resting his head against the cool glass Lucius sighed. Why was he being so nice to Lupin? Why was he letting the little honey haired boy see the side of him that no one was allowed to see? Why was he asking so many questions?  
  
If there was one thing Lucius prided himself on it was his intelligence. He thought about everything, he never did anything before thinking it out before, so why was he rushing into 'something' with Lupin without even stopping to take a breath. Why was he letting some Gryffindor know his thoughts and see him unguarded and well as vulnerable as he could ever let himself get. Lucius had a fear of people, he couldn't trust them. He didn't keep close friends because he didn't believe in companionship it was 'every man for himself' in a 'dog eat dog world' according to his father and never had Lucius been inclined to disagree.  
  
+++++++++  
  
"Why won't you talk to us Moony?" Sirius cried desperately as the small, pale figure of his shy friend slipped into bed and drew the red hangings preventing any further conversation with Sirius.  
  
In anger Sirius slammed his fist against his own bedpost before regretting his action. Remus had come back to Hogwarts two hours late and had not even offered them an explanation. He had taken at least a two hour long shower before getting ready for bed which was when Sirius had cornered him. All he had wanted was some sort of answer, just something. He wanted to know that Remus was alright but more importantly he wanted to help him, and how could he do that is Remus was intent on pushing him away?  
  
Meanwhile Remus let his eyelids finally slide over his amber eyes and he fell, almost relieved into a deep sleep.  
  
In his dream Remus found himself standing at the edge of a lake. The sun was beating down on him and the water was lapping gently at his bare feet. Over at the other side of the lake it was night time but Remus did not find this strange. It seemed natural as did the snow which was gently drifting down on both sides of the lake. Opening his mouth Remus caught a snowflake on his tongue. It melted instantly the water trickling down the back of his throat. Just then something caught his eye. It was Lucius, walking over the water from the dark side of the lake towards him dressed in silver trimmed midnight robes. Remus smiled up at the approaching figure hesitantly and Lucius smiled back. Reaching out a pale arm he pulled Remus up onto the water and together they walked back toward the dark side until they were swallowed up by the falling snow.  
  
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End of chapter two.  
  
(A/N) so how was it? Please review it helps me to continue with the story if I know people are reading it and I do appreciate all your comments since I'm fairly new at this whole thing. Thanks to all those who did review the first chapter. I know I said this would be longer and it is, a little bit. The chapters will probably get longer as the story progresses. 


	3. Something strange but not unwanted

(A/N) Hey Y'all! Thanks sooo much to everyone that reviewed and to everyone that WILL review. Cos you know u want to right? Okay I am sooo sorry that this took so long it's just I am kind of in the middle of sitting my highers at the moment. Anyhow I will try to update as fats as I can! As to all those who read How Voldemort was defeated by an Asda lorry I AM working on the sequel and it WILL be posted soon. I promise, but until then maybe u can read and review this for me! Love Wildmoonflower  
  
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CHAPTER THREE: Something Strange but not Unwanted  
  
Remus Lupin opened one amber eye, and then he opened the other. The sunlight was filtering through the crack in the red hangings about his bed and he could hear the noise of the other boys getting dressed. With a sigh Remus slung his legs out of bed and slid through the curtains. Suddenly Sirius and Peter fell silent.  
  
"Ah, Sleeping Beauty has awoken." James said, trying to lighten the mood. To his surprise a crooked smile cracked across Remus's face which had been so pale and drawn lately that James had feared it would never smile again.  
  
"Listen guys," Remus said hesitantly. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Sorry about...running out."  
  
James gave his lopsided smile and ruffled Remus's wavy hair affectionately as if he were the older brother and Remus the younger. "It's ok Moony; we all get a bit moody sometimes."  
  
Remus nodded jerkily and began to search for some clean clothes and his Hogwarts robes. Sirius watched him out of the corner of one dark blue eye. He wasn't going to accept that Remus had just been 'moody', no; there was more to it than that he was sure of it.  
  
Later, when they had all dressed Sirius walked down to the Great hall beside Remus instead of James. He was determined to try and reach his friend; Remus had to understand that he wasn't alone. "You can talk to me you know Moony." He said quietly. Remus nodded without meeting Sirius's eyes.  
  
"I know." He said.  
  
Sirius shook his head angrily, "No you don't 'know'. You say that Remus but it's just to humour me. 'Oh poor Sirius, I'll pretend I trust him just so he'll leave me alone and I won't have to PUT UP WITH HIM ANYMORE'!"  
  
Remus glared at him, his small mouth curling up in anger, "If that's what you think I'm doing Sirius Black then you aren't my friend at all!" Turning swiftly on his heel Remus practically ran back up to Gryffindor tower. He was running everywhere these days it seemed, running away from everything and everyone. Except Lucius, he was the only one that Remus seemed to be running to.  
  
Back in the corridor Sirius stared after his friend in dismay. How he hated his short temper, it was just that he hated the way Remus always dismissed him all the time as if he, Sirius, wasn't important enough to warrant any explanation. He felt a tap on his arm; it was James asking him to continue to the Great hall. Sirius nodded and followed his messy haired friend. Peter stood for a second trying to decide who to follow. Deciding Remus was too messy and too scary he chose James and Sirius. James was always nice to everyone. Well, everyone except Snape.  
  
+++++++++  
  
Lucius sat at the back of his potions class absentmindedly playing with his quill. It was a new quill sent to him by his father, pure white in colour. White as snow, Lucius frowned. Why couldn't he stop thinking about snow? He was meeting Remus at ten o'clock that night to show him, well Lucius wasn't sure what. To show him that darkness had colours too? That the moon could be as beautiful as the sun and perhaps even more so? Lucius smiled to himself, he was going soft.  
  
Closing his eyes Lucius forgot the class completely; instead he gave into the familiar pull of sleep. It was so easy to fall asleep in the warm, overcrowded classrooms of Hogwarts. Lucius hardly ever had dreams but this time he did.  
  
He was standing in the middle of a ring of fire. The flames licked the edges of his hair and robes but he did not feel hot, nor did he ever catch fire. Just outside the ring of flames he saw a tall cloaked figure with jet black, slightly curling hair and piecing blue eyes. "Who are you?" Lucius cried, his eyes straining to see more clearly.  
  
"Your Master." The voice hissed. Then the figure was gone and before Lucius had a chance to shout again the red-gold flames burned brighter and swallowed him up.  
  
Lucius awoke with a start to find that the rest of the class had dispersed and he was alone. Well, almost alone. There was still Professor Shackleroot standing in front of his desk, staring at him. "Hi?" Lucius put forward sheepishly.  
  
"Young Mister Malfoy," Professor Shackleroot began with a glare. "When you come to my class I expect you to listen, not fall asleep. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes Professor." Lucius answered in a monotone.  
  
"Just because you are Head Boy it doesn't mean you can go around behaving like that do I make myself clear?"  
  
Lucius nodded feeling his eyes start to close again. "For Gods sake boy, stay awake when I'm talking to you!" Professor Shackleroot snapped, her thin eyes narrowing even further until they were but glinting slits on her face.  
  
"Yes Professor." Lucius said.  
  
With a shake of her head and a sigh Professor Shackleroot turned away from her normally star pupil. It was never a good idea to let anyone know that they were special; they started to think they were 'better' than you.  
  
Lucius walked slowly out of the dingy classroom and down the hall to the Slytherin dormitories. While some thoughts of his strange dream did cross his mind most of Lucius's thoughts seemed to concentrate of lead back to his meeting with Remus later that night.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Later that night when darkness had fallen and the crescent moon had replaced the sun James, Sirius and Peter were all gathered on James's bed. Sirius was worried; he hadn't seen or heard Remus since their argument that morning. If you could even call it an argument Sirius thought, it was more like he had spoken and Remus had bitten his head off. Sirius scowled at the memory.  
  
"So," James said, breaking the heavy silence.  
  
"So. What about Moony?" Sirius asked. "I've been watching him, he isn't himself lately. I mean he is usually shy and rather reclusive but disappearing? Snapping for no reason? He never did that before."  
  
James nodded but before he could say anything Peter interrupted with: "I still think it's that time of the month." The two dark haired boys stared at him unwaveringly until he once again fell silent.  
  
"It's more than that," James said, his brown eyes wide and serious. "I was speaking to Snape today..." Sirius raised his eyebrow and James grinned. "Oh all right I was fighting with Snape today and he happened to let it slip that Remy has been down at the Slytherin bit, visiting Lucius Malfoy, heir to the throne of hell."  
  
"What?" Sirius shouted angrily. "What was he doing going to see that piece of shit?"  
  
James shook his messy haired head. He was worried about Remus too but getting worked up and shouting at the boy would not help. "I don't know Sirius; I don't understand why he would ever want to see Malfoy. I mean they're total opposites. Remus is shy and kind and Malfoy is...."  
  
"A complete Bastard." Sirius finished. "And a Death Eater!" Peter piped up. Peter wasn't really worried about Remus. He was worried that his friends would all start fighting and fall out. Then what would happen to him? He wasn't really worried about losing Remus; after all he was a 'werewolf', but to lose Sirius and James! Peter could not imagine a worse thing.  
  
Sirius and James glanced at each other, both looking as serious as each other. How could they help Remus if he got tangled up with a Death Eater?  
  
++++++++  
  
Remus stood near a burning red torch in the Entrance hall waiting for Lucius. He wasn't quite sure why he was there. Each second more brought further dread for the honey haired boy. He hated the night, he hated the moon. Hell, he was even supposed to hate Lucius Malfoy so WHY was he meeting the older boy at ten o'clock at night? With a sigh Remus leant back against the grey stone wall. It felt rough against his back even against the thick fabric of his Gryffindor robes. He checked his watch trying to decide whether it would be a good idea just to run back upstairs or not. His thoughts were interrupted however by the arrival of Lucius.  
  
"Hello." The blonde said.  
  
Remus jumped in surprise and smiled nervously at the boy. Lucius regarded him intently for a moment with his wide silver eyes before turning and heading out the entrance. "Come on!" he called.  
  
Remus followed quickly. So many questions were running through his head, where were they going? What could Lucius possibly show him? Why did Lucius want to show him? However Remus felt is traditional shyness settle in and he asked none of these questions. He just followed the Slytherin. They were heading deep into the Forbidden forest yet Remus felt no fear, he supposed he had no need to since he was a dark creature himself. Yes, he was a dark creature, how would Lucius react to the knowledge that he was a werewolf? His questions were suddenly interrupted by a pair of cool, pale hands which slid over his eyelids, keeping him from sight. "Malfoy?" Remus asked uncertainly.  
  
"Sssshhh!" said the smooth English accent. "It's me, just keep walking!"  
  
Lucius moved forward and Remus began to walk again, Lucius turning his body in the direction he wanted to go. If it had been anyone else, Remus thought; if it had been Sirius or James he would have run away by now. But with Lucius it was different, he felt not trapped but just safe.  
  
Finally Lucius found the place he had been searching for, he turned Remus around to face away from it and then took his hands away. "Open your eyes." He commanded. Remus did so and looked around expectantly. All he could see was the thick darkness of the forest, nothing special there. "Tell me what you see." Lucius said from somewhere behind him. For a moment Remus was silent, scrutinising the view in front of him. "Nothing," he said. "I see nothing."  
  
"Now turn around." Lucius ordered. Taking a deep breath Remus did so and he saw, he saw...everything.  
  
They were standing on the edge of a small clearing in the forest. The grass was deep and covered in Bluebells. The wind whistled through them and Remus swore he could almost hear them chime. The sky above was sharp and dark black dotted here and there with shining silver stars. The crescent moon shone brightly bathing the clearing in an ethereal silver glow. The wind rushed through the trees around them, lifting Remus's hair and caressing his face. He turned and looked at Lucius who smiled and took his hand. They walked into the centre of the clearing and stood there silently. Remus opened his mouth, about to interrupt their calm but he was stopped by the sudden appearance of golden lights. They floated out of the forest, past the swaying trees and into the clearing, gathering and gathering until the boys were surrounded by them. Remus laughed, forgetting himself for a moment, spinning around his arms open wide trying to touch the shimmering lights. Suddenly his eyes caught a different light. The liquid silver of Lucius's eyes and Remus stopped and stared at the Slytherin. Lucius was standing still, a half smile on his face. His white-gold hair was floating around his shoulders, lifted by the soft breeze and the golden lights seemed to be gathering around him giving him and almost otherworldly look. Remus smiled at him, he felt like a child again, he felt like he wanted to run around and yell until his hearts content. He had never seen the night like this, never seen it so beautiful or so bright. Before it had been dull and dead, filled with all the pain Remus knew and now...now it seemed alive. Lucius watched the younger boy; he had shown Remus the night, now perhaps, he hoped, Remus would show him the day. Just maybe not yet he thought; enjoying the first smile he had ever seen on the Gryffindor's elfin face.  
  
Gesturing to the golden lights Remus smiled. "What are they?" he asked.  
  
"Fireflies." Lucius told him, something about the moonlight on Remus seemed natural, as if he belonged under it. As if it were a part of him.  
  
Remus studied him seriously. "Thank you." He said. Slowly, nervously Remus held out his hand for the Slytherin. Lucius regarded it hesitantly. It was the way, it was the path, and it was...it seemed right. Reaching out his own slim hand he grasped the Gryffindor's and shook it. Remus's skin was hot and Lucius offered him a small, shy smile, a smile that had never before crossed the face of a Malfoy.  
  
"I'm Lucius." He said softly.  
  
"I'm Remus." Came the reply.  
  
+++++++++  
  
Sirius lay in his bed staring at the thick red draperies surrounding it. Remus was nowhere to be found. It was already two o'clock and, well if he was with Malfoy. Sirius hoped he wasn't. He didn't want to lose his friend to something like that. He had to talk to him, Sirius decided. Yes, tomorrow he would find Remus and make him listen.  
  
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End of chapter three.  
  
Wahoo! I finally finished it; this chapter took me ages to write and not just cos of the above reasons. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, I love you all! And to miss Mystic Sorceress, yes I would love a beta only what exactly is it? (Told you I was new!) 


	4. Kiss Me once and i'll tell you a secret

(A/N) FOURTH CHAPTER!!!! Wahoo! I can't believe it! I think something must have inspired me. Or else all the caffeine pills I've been taking for my exams are affecting the speed I write at. Which they probably are, I certainly can't sleep anyway! But who needs sleep anyway? Long live Lucius! And Captain Hook, and Jareth while I'm at it!! Read, review and I will love you!!! Wild moon flower.  
  
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CHAPTER FOUR: Kiss Me Once and I'll tell you a Secret  
  
Remus entered the dormitory silently as if he were but a shadow. He crept over to his bed and lay down, a smile spreading slowly over his face. He felt better than he had ever felt in a long time. With a contented sigh he turned over and fell asleep. The time was three in the morning.  
  
In the bed next to his Sirius Black lay still, he was awake and had heard his small friend sneak in. Sirius wanted to confront him now but something held him back, he liked to think of it as his inner James- the voice of reason in his rather unreasonable mind. With an irritated sigh Sirius let himself drift into an uneasy sleep.  
  
He was dreaming; Sirius knew this because the sight before him could not be real. Remus was standing in the middle of a ring of toadstools. Around him floated glowing yellow orbs of light. Fireflies, Sirius recognised. Remus seemed to be smiling, shyly, his delicate hand beckoning to Sirius, asking him to come closer. Sirius moved forward and as he did so Remus began to change. His skin began to grow thick silver fur and his bones cracked and bent until he was hunched on all fours. Finally his white teeth grew and he growled at Sirius from inside the fairy ring. "You think you can help me?" the wolf growled. "You can never help me!" Sirius took a step back in fright and suddenly he found himself plummeting backwards toward the ground.  


* * *

James walked along the corridor whistling to himself. He wasn't whistling any particular tune, he was just whistling. Suddenly his peace and quiet was broken by the sound of angry voices coming from the dormitory. He checked his watch, it was only seven o'clock. Surely Sirius could not have woken up just yet? Just the he distinctly heard Remus shout "Fuck you Sirius!" Shaking his messy haired head James ran up the stairs as fast as he could.  
  
Entering the dormitory he was greeted by the sight of Peter cowering in the corner and Sirius and Remus standing in the middle of the floor, glaring at each other. Each boy had anger coming off them in waves and James wished he had not left the dormitory early that morning. "Sirius," he said with warning, but still gently as ever.  
  
Sirius made no sign that he even knew James was there, instead he moved closer to Remus. "Why won't you listen?" he asked. "WHY DO YOU RUN OFF TO HIM?"  
  
Remus's eyes flashed and his lips thinned, baring his teeth as if he were the wolf at that very moment.  
  
"What do you think," Sirius hissed, his blue eyes glinting angrily. "What do you think will happen when he discovers you're a Werewolf? He'll hate you that's what. And then where will you be?"  
  
"No!" Remus cried, "He wouldn't hate me!"  
  
"Yes he would!" Sirius said. "He would hate you because he's a MALFOY Remus! A MALFOY and most probably a Death Eater! You can't trust him, he'd tell everyone."  
  
Remus shook his head violently, his honey coloured hair whipping around his pale face. Sirius advanced on him, angered once more. That was the curse of Sirius, once he got angry it only took the slightest thing to make him more so. Remus looked up at him sorrowfully and Sirius thought he saw tears brimming in the amber eyes. At once his heart softened. "I'm sorry Remy, I'm sorry. It's just I'm your friend. You're supposed to turn to me, not....Malfoy!"  
  
Remus just shook his head even more, backing away from Sirius he bumped into James. Remus whirled around in fright. When he saw who it was he shook his head again. "Why can't you all just LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed, the words tearing from his lips. Sirius stopped and stood still, James looked at him in shock and Peter whimpered, hiding behind the curtain. "Just leave me alone." Remus repeated in a whisper, his hands pushing at James a little. "Leave me alone." He said once more before turning on his heel and running out of the dormitory.  
  
A heavy silence hung in the air. It was so heavy that James felt that it would crush him. He had to break it, "Well, that went to plan then Sirius?" he asked.  
  
Sirius glanced at him, a half smile forming on his lips. He laughed; a kind of strangled sound that shouldn't come from one as bright and cheerful as Sirius normally was. James stepped towards his friend hesitantly. James didn't understand what was going on but he knew that he needed to be there for his friends.  
  
"Why does he hate me James?" Sirius asked rather pitifully.  
  
James's warm brown eyes widened, "He doesn't hate you, he doesn't." he said sincerely, knowing in his heart that it was true.  
  
"Then why is he..." Sirius broke off, looking miserable.  
  
"I don't know." James sighed. "But we're getting nowhere shouting at him. Let me try talking to him Padfoot, maybe I can help."  
  
Sirius nodded, albeit sadly. "It's just; I wanted to help him James. It should be me, not Malfoy."

* * *

Remus ran, why was he always running? He ran down various corridors, blindly making his way to an unknown destination. Suddenly he found himself banging on a wall so hard he was sure his knuckles were bleeding. "Leave me alone." He repeated like a chant under his breath. It felt like the walls were closing in on him and he couldn't breathe. He knocked on the wall harder, why did nobody answer?  
  
Suddenly the wall slid away and Remus stumbled slightly before regaining his balance and meeting the black eyes of...Snape. "Lupin?" Snape asked disbelievingly. This was the second time he had met the Gryffindor at the door of his common room and Snape was getting slightly curious as to why he was there. "What do you want?" he asked.  
  
Remus blinked as if he was just really noticing him and then said "Lucius, I mean Malfoy; I need to talk to him. Let me in!"  
  
Snape frowned but he moved away from the entrance all the same allowing the smaller boy to slip through. He was about to ask the Gryffindor something else when he realised that Remus had already gone.  
  
Remus knocked sharply as Lucius's bedroom door, he knocked once, twice, three times, four, until finally Lucius opened it. The blonde haired Slytherin stared at him in shock but seeing the state that Remus was in he quickly pulled the younger boy inside, shutting the door tightly behind him.  
  
"Why you?" Remus cried pushing Lucius slightly. "Why you? Why can't it be Sirius huh? Why are you the only one who makes me feel....who makes me feel...remotely alive?" he ended his tirade in a whisper, banging his fists once more against the Slytherin.  
  
Lucius, lost for words, grabbed the boy's honey hair and pulled his face up to his. Closing his silver eyes Lucius did the only think he could think of, he kissed him, a quick light kiss that was over as soon as it began.  
  
Lost for words Remus pushed the silver eyed boy away. "You'll hate me." He whispered.  
  
Lucius looked at him, bewildered. "Why would I hate you? You're the only one in this whole school who treats me like I'm just 'Lucius' and not Lucius Malfoy."  
  
Remus looked at him with scared amber eyes. "You would hate me if you knew...if you knew what I really am." Every part of Remus's mind was screaming at him to turn and leave. Why was he telling Lucius his secret? Did he want to ruin everything? But it was too late now. He had already ruined everything with Sirius; why not destroy everything else in his life while he was at it?  
  
Lucius shook his head, everything was happening so fast; he felt breathless but he didn't want to stop. "I could never hate you. I never did and I never will." He told the Gryffindor quietly. Lucius wanted so many things in life, but most of all he wanted to be free and so, he sensed, did Remus. They could free each other if they tried.  
  
Remus turned so that Lucius couldn't see his face. Ignoring the screams in his head he began to speak, he had to see if Sirius was right. He just had to. "I'm...I'm a w...werewolf." he whispered, part of him hoping that the Slytherin would not hear.  
  
But Lucius did hear and he was not afraid. He moved closer to the Gryffindor and turned him around so that their eyes met. "I knew it," he said. "I knew you were a child of the moon."  
  
A flicker of hope that Sirius was wrong shone in Remus's eyes and he asked nervously "You aren't afraid? Do you hate me?"  
  
Lucius smiled, "Why should I be afraid? You are Remus with werewolf blood not a werewolf with Remus blood. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. You may have been cursed by a dark creature but you aren't that creature. You're still Remus and I don't hate you."  
  
Remus made a small choking noise, even Sirius and James hadn't been this understanding, they had needed 'time to get used to it'. But here was a boy he had once thought his enemy accepting it as if it were nothing. "Sirius said you would." Remus whispered.  
  
"Black doesn't know one thing about me." Lucius said matter-of-factly. "Black cares only about himself."  
  
"That's not true." Remus said quietly, and then he looked up at Lucius again. "He says you're a Death Eater, is that true?"  
  
Lucius looked away for a moment, his eyes taking on a wild look. "Would you hate me if I was?" he asked, dreading the answer.  
  
"No." said the quiet smooth voice of Remus. "No I wouldn't."  
  
Lucius nodded and then shook his head, his white-gold hair swinging in its ponytail. "I'm not, not yet anyway, but my father is and he does want me to join as soon as I'm ready. Sometimes I feel as if I never want to join and sometimes I feel as if I do. There is something evil growing inside me Remus. Sometimes I want to rip it out of me and then at other times it feels so easy to give in. But I know that if I do give in to it, I'll never escape it."  
  
The two boys stared solemnly at each other, their faces cast golden by the glowing fire. Outside the sun shone and the birds sang. They noticed none of it.

* * *

Sirius bashed the boy's head against the wall as hard as he could. The boy moaned in pain and Sirius smiled in satisfaction. Again he forced the boy's head to meet the wall, and again and again. Finally the let go and the boy struggled to stand.  
  
Snape opened one bloody eye and looked blearily at the towering figure that stood before him. His head hurt like hell and it felt like he would never be able to see properly again. "Go away Black." He croaked feebly. What had he done to deserve this?  
  
"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I don't know." Snape said, shaking his head though it hurt to do so.  
  
"WHERE IS HE?" Sirius yelled. "I KNOW you know!"  
  
Snape shook his head again and Sirius raised his arm back, readying another punch when someone else stepped in front of Snape. It was James, the voice of reason. "Sirius, Sirius," he said. "Come on, there are other ways to find Remus than this."  
  
Slowly Sirius brought down his hand. With one last glare at the wounded Snape he stomped away angrily.  
  
Crouching down James spoke to Snape. "I'm sorry about that," he said, feeling truly sorry for Snape. Although he did hate the Slytherin Sirius really did have no right to take his anger out on him like that. "He's just upset and more than a little wound up." He said before getting up and following Sirius out of the old classroom.  
  
Snape struggled to rise again, tears threatening at his eyes. Why was it he always ended up being a punch bag for frustrated Gryffindors? One day, he thought, he would make them all pay for their treatment of him. But for now he would just have to put up with it.  
  
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End of chapter four.  
  
(A/N) So? Good/bad?. I do feel that Sirius would beat Snape up like that after all he does almost kill him in the books. Anyway thanx for reading! And review, review, review!!! 


	5. Problems are plenty but solutions are fe...

(A/N) Hello! I'm writing like a freak at the moment. The 'How Voldemort' is getting really long as well. I have an obsession with fairy tales- that is why there are these scenes in my stories that seem well, kinda too beautiful. Y'know the ones I mean. I just thought id explain that. Anyway, thanx so much to my reviewers, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing. Love Wildmoonflower.  
  
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CHAPTER FIVE: Problems Are Plenty But Solutions Are Few  
  
James pushed Sirius into the wall, not hard enough to seriously injure him but hard enough, he hoped, to knock some damn sense into him. Sirius needed to calm down, Remus needed to talk to them. Why was everything going so wrong?  
  
"James." Sirius grunted in slight pain and James let him go. Stepping back he shook his head at the black haired boy.  
  
"What were you thinking?" he asked.  
  
Sirius had the decency to look ashamed before answering. "I saw him in the corridor James, and I remembered that it was he that had told you about Remus and Lucius and so I asked him. I swear I just asked him quietly at first but then he went all Snape and told me it was none of my business and I dunno, something inside me just snapped. I'm sorry, I am, I am, I really am."  
  
James's eyes softened and he nodded, "I know, I know you are but Sirius, beating up Snape won't help us reach Remus. You know that right?"  
  
Sirius nodded "I know it."  
  
Satisfied James pulled his friend away from the wall. "Come on, let's go to class. We'll see Remus there anyway."  
  
Sirius made a rather disbelieving noise but followed his friend anyway. He had only tried to talk to Remus that morning. It was Remus who had begun the fight. Remus had told him that he could 'never understand what he was going through, not now, not ever'. Sirius had felt his anger beginning to spark. He had 'understood' when Remus had told him he was a Werewolf hadn't he? Heck, he had been so understanding that he had even become an anamigus for him. Hadn't he been understanding? He had, so why was Remus acting this way and why was Sirius letting him? Shaking his head Sirius padded slowly down the hallway behind James. He felt rather sick at the way he had treated Snape that morning, however, he would not apologise. He felt sure that James had done that already.

* * *

"Do you want to cut class?" Remus asked, the words spilling out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying.  
  
"What?" Lucius asked, taken by surprise.  
  
"You heard me." Remus said, looking at him earnestly. "Come on." He said, grabbing the Slytherin's arm and pulling him out of the room. Ignoring the questioning looks of other Slytherins they walked out of the common room and out of the school. Remus felt exhilarated, Lucius didn't care! He felt he could sing, Sirius had been wrong and Lucius didn't hate him!  
  
Behind him Lucius followed feeling rather bewildered. "Where are we going?" he asked. Remus just smiled at him and Lucius couldn't help but smile back. He couldn't help but think that maybe today things could change.  
  
They walked over the well kept grounds towards the lake. The morning air was cool and refreshing against their skin and the sun shone lightly over everything in sight. They walked past the glittering waters until they reached a willow tree at the far end. Remus liked this tree; unlike the Whomping willow it had not been placed there to protect others from himself. Parting the thick branches like curtains Remus pulled Lucius inside. They were safe inside, safe behind the curtains of emerald leaves which sang softly in the light breeze. The sun shone through the gaps, dappling them both in golden light. Near to them the water of the lake shooshed gently to its own rhythm.  
  
They sat down and Lucius ran his slim fingers through the blades of grass, they were damp, the early morning dew still resting on them. Uncertainly he looked over at Remus who smiled. "If you will listen to me," Remus said softly. "I will listen to you."  
  
Lucius rather felt that this was all a dream but he nodded and Remus lay back on the wet grass. Lucius pulled a soft green blade from the earth and played with it, inhaling its clean, wet scent.  
  
"I don't know, Lucius." Remus began, rather slowly as he felt quite nervous. It was not his way to open up to someone, especially one who was still, really, a stranger. But then, he supposed, it was not Lucius's way either. "I feel sometimes like no one understands me and I hate them for it, and then later I feel so guilty. I know I'm a werewolf and I'm not really scared of that fact, it's just that I can't let anyone get close to me in case they find out. So people hate me for ignoring them, they think I'm stuck up or something, but they would hate me even more if they found out the truth. The night, the moon, they are more bars on my prison and I can't escape them. Sometimes, when the sun comes up I can pretend but I...." he paused, turning his face away from the older boy. "It's not just that, lately I've felt so helpless, like I want to escape, not just the wolf but everything. I feel so angry all the time and I hate my friends sometimes, I hate them so much and I know I shouldn't. I don't understand what I feel, I want to kill, I want to be killed, I want something....I want it all to go away."  
  
Lucius looked down at the upset boy; slowly he lay down on his front in the grass beside him. Remus turned his head slowly to meet the silver eyes, he didn't know what he expected to see but the similar pain that was being reflected was not it.  
  
"I...I met Voldemort." Lucius said, the words, his voice sounded strange to his ears. He had never told anybody anything before; he had never trusted any one person enough to do so. But there was something different now; he could feel it in the air. "My father introduced us last summer. He says that by the end of this year I will be ready. You must understand that I do not hate my family, nor do I hate Voldemort. I hate the way people immediately assume things when they hear my name even though; deep inside I am what they assume. I would have to kill muggles if I become a Death Eater, I would maybe have to kill people I know as well. That is a terrible thing and a part of me feels that, however, the other part of me would be quite happy to torture a few muggles and blast apart wizards who get in my way."  
  
Remus was silent, his amber eyes watching the blonde Slytherin without judgement. Who would he be to judge anyone anyway?  
  
"I feel like I'm standing on the barrier between darkness and light. All I need is some reason and I will walk into the sun, but when I have no reason the darkness seems more and more appealing and I think, maybe, I'll end up there whether I want to or not." Lucius smiled rather sadly, his fingers picking at the damp grass. He glanced at Remus and their eyes met; silver on amber. Slowly Remus sat up; taking the other boy's hand he pulled him up as well. They sat on the damp grass, legs crossed, facing each other.  
  
"I think we're both a little messed up." Lucius said with a smirk. Remus smiled back, he felt that if nothing got in their way then they could heal each other. The sun shone a little brighter through the leaves and it felt like heaven was smiling down on them.

* * *

James was worried, the school day was finished, classes were long over and Remus had not yet returned to Gryffindor tower. Sirius had long ago gone up to bed although he probably wasn't asleep. He was probably lying awake, worrying, like James, about the little werewolf. James was angry with Remus, he was angry at the boy for treating them like they were nothing but he still loved his friend. He still wanted to help if he could.Across from James, on an oversize red chair sat the small figure of Peter Pettigrew. Peter was quiet, lost in thought. He understood nothing of what was happening; all he knew was that it seemed to be Remus's fault somehow. He hoped that James and Sirius would fall out with Remus. It would be so much safer without the werewolf around, not to mention he would have Sirius and James all to himself.  
  
Upstairs, in his bed Sirius glared at the darkness, through the crack in the red hangings he glared at the moon. His thoughts of anger toward Remus had turned into anger toward Lucius Malfoy. He would get him, Sirius thought; he would show Lucius Malfoy what happened when you messed around with a friend of Sirius Black!

* * *

Severus Snape washed his bruised face in the warm water. A couple of other Slytherins sniggered at him as they left the bathroom. The water felt so nice on his wounded face, Severus felt tears threatening again and he angrily slammed his fist against the white tiled wall. He was the centre of every joke; he was the punch bag of every Gryffindor and yet Severus still did nothing. Why not? He did not know the answer himself. He supposed it was because of the night that Lucius Malfoy had taken the time to speak to him. Severus had been sitting in the corner of the Library trying to ignore the laughter of James Potter and Sirius Black which he was sure was directed at him when Lucius Malfoy had sat down beside him. Severus had been shocked, to say the very least when the Malfoy heir had then begun to speak to him.  
  
"Ignore them," Lucius had said. "They only pick on you because they have nothing better to do, it's sad."  
  
Severus had dared to look at him then and Lucius had smiled. "My mother once told me," Lucius continued. "You must never be ashamed of who you are or let others make you feel ashamed."  
  
Since then they had a strange sort of friendship. Severus didn't call himself Lucius's friend because he knew that Lucius didn't have friends, but Lucius talked to him every now and then and told him things that allowed Severus to glimpse little snatches of the older boy's life, although he could never tell quite what was the truth and what was a lie. Severus smiled, he was grateful for Lucius Malfoy even though he knew that, inevitably, Lucius would end up a Death Eater. It had been written in his stars since the moment he had been born. And as for Severus, he would quite happily follow Lucius into hell if he asked him to.  
  
When he had finished washing Severus slipped on his nightclothes and left the large bathroom, his tanned feet padding gently on the cold floor. Having nothing better to do he decided to see if Lucius was in. He knocked tentatively on the Head Boy's door. No answer came and Severus pushed the door open. The room was empty apart from a white owl perched on the desk beside the window. As Severus approached it he realised that it was the Malfoy family owl. "Hey there." He said in what he hoped was a gentle voice. The owl hooted softly and dropped a letter in the dark haired boy's hands. Against his better judgement Severus opened the letter and began to read.  
  
Dear son,  
  
You have impressed both Voldemort and myself over the last few years. We have decided that it is your time now; it is your time to join us. On Halloween night at twelve o'clock be in this room, a portkey will be waiting to take you to our manor. There you will receive the Dark Mark and begin your life as a servant to the Great Lord. He will lead us into a new era where he will reward those who have been faithful to him. I know you shall be pleased to get the gift so soon.  
  
Yours sincerely,  
J. Z Malfoy

* * *

Lucius and Remus stood by the lake, both peering down into the dark, eerie water. They could hear the high singing of the mer-people down below, and sometimes they caught glimpses of their lights as they swam near the surface. The white blossom from the trees around them blew gently past them, glinting silver in the bright moonlight. "Scream." Lucius said suddenly, addressing the boy beside him. "Scream." he repeated.  
  
Remus smiled slightly, a little confused.  
  
"No one can hear," Lucius reminded him. "Scream, let it all out, all your frustration, everything."  
  
Remus closed his eyes and opened his mouth, taking a deep breath he let out an ear-splitting scream that could be heard all over the castle grounds. When he finished Remus smiled and twirled around slightly, he felt, better. He wanted to hug Lucius but something prevented him, he wasn't sure the slim, proper Slytherin would appreciate being hugged. "Your turn." Remus said with a smile.  
  
Lucius smiled back, he felt giddy. It seemed that Remus's happiness made him happy too. Taking a breath he poured out his anger and hatred at himself in one long scream. Just as he was finishing thunder and lightning cracked overhead and rain began to pour down on them.  
  
Remus laughed and held his hands up to the falling water. Grabbing Lucius's hands he spun them both around. As they spun the wind picked up and blew the blossom wildly around them, a few stray leaves taking flight as well. They were soaked and cold but they were, for the first time in a long time, happy.  
  
Finally they both sat down on the wet ground opposite each other. Lucius tucked a strand of his dripping wet hair behind his ear and couldn't help the smile that stole across his face. He hadn't smiled so much in ages, hell he didn't think he had ever smiled so much. He could hardly see for the rain dripping down from his eyelashes but that didn't seem to matter, reaching a pale hand out he touched Remus's flushed face. Their eyes met and Lucius, forgetting all reasons that could make it wrong, kissed the Gryffindor softly.  
  
Remus smiled and kissed him back. Then they just sat and studied each other carefully, they had so many problems, if those who had none could do nothing, then they, who had, surely, could help each other. The rain fell heavier and the blossom petals blew around them, keeping them safe in a ring of silver. A time for healing had begun.

* * *

Severus held the letter in slightly shaking hands. Lucius's time had come, he wondered if Lucius would be happy. This was his destiny, suddenly it hit Severus, this was all that the silver eyed boy could be- a servant to darkness. That was no life at all he realised, yet still Severus vowed to follow Lucius wherever he would go.  
  
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(A/N) In case any of you are wondering Lucius has his own room because I feel that as head boy he would be granted this privilege. Anyhow I hope that's cleared that up for you. Thanx for reading reviewing. Love love love 


	6. You can't find love when there's nothing...

(A/N) Okay, wow! I've reached a sixth chapter!!!!! I'm so happy!! Well actually I'm not. I'm kind of in a bad mood at the moment so I'm unsure how this chapter will turn out. Well, I'll try not to make it too depressing or anything. As always please leave your review on the way out!! Thank you, come again!  
  
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CHAPTER SIX: You Can't Find Love When There's Nothing Inside  
  
Lucius woke up feeling rather wet; his hands were curled around something soft and damp and he sat up to get a better look. Laced through his fingers were several strands of honey coloured hair. Letting the strands slip softly away from his fingers Lucius looked at the sleeping boy gently.  
  
They were under the willow tree which was where they had finally collapsed the night before, both falling fast into a dreamless sleep. It had stopped raining, and the sun's early morning rays filtered in through the leaves. Lucius could smell the fresh scent of rain on the grass and he smiled, nothing could be more perfect. Yes he was wet and rather muddy, but he was also happy. At the sound of Remus waking up Lucius smiled at him. Remus smiled back and sat up slowly. "Hello." Remus said quietly.  
  
"Hello." Lucius answered.  
  
"We're rather wet." Remus said with a small smile. Lucius nodded and they stepped out from under the willow tree. Outside the sun shone a little brighter down on them and the birds sang loudly on from the treetops. Lucius tilted his head up to the sun and smiled as if in greeting. The cool morning breeze blew softly past them and they kept close together as they walked up to the castle.  
  
It was rather early so there was no one about yet apart from Mrs Norris who sat in a dark corner of the entrance hall, her red eyes fixed on a rather brave little mouse. Lucius and Remus, not quite sure what to say smiled briefly at each other before turning to head in different directions. Suddenly, acting on impulse, not something he did often; Lucius ran back and turned the amber eyed boy around. Gracing him with a small kiss he smiled brightly and then walked off again.  
  
Remus stood still for a moment and then, with a small smile tugging at his lips he made his way back to Gryffindor tower.  
  
  
  
James jerked awake, hitting his head on the back of the chair as he heard the portrait swing open. Remus entered looking rather dazed and happy. He walked passed James, without even acknowledging he was there, and continued up to the dormitory. James was out of his chair before you could say 'Hogwarts: a History' and up the stairs after the smaller boy. He had to get there before Sirius woke up.  
  
Remus entered the dormitory and crossed the red carpet to his bed. There he sat feeling rather silly with the smile on his face that just wouldn't leave. Just then James entered the room startling Remus from his thoughts. "Remus," James said quietly. "Where have you been?"  
  
"Nowhere." Came Remus's answer. James sighed, just why was Remus lying to him?  
  
"I know where you were Moony." James said seriously.  
  
A look of panic flitted over Remus pale face, "Where?" he asked, glaring at James as if daring him to continue.  
  
James hesitated for a moment and then continued, "With Malfoy."  
  
Immediately Remus stood up from the bed and looked defensively at James. "So what if I was?" he asked.  
  
"Remy, Malfoy is...."  
  
"He's what?" Remus asked, when no answer came from the messy haired boy Remus tried again. "HE'S BLOODY WHAT, JAMES?"  
  
James looked at him rather desperately as if trying to will the boy to understand. Just then Sirius climbed out of his bed looking rather grumpy and tired. Running a large hand through his black hair Sirius yawned and said, "What's going on Prongs? I was trying to sleep." James jerked his head toward Remus and Sirius's eyes suddenly cleared. Immediately an angry look stole across his face.  
  
"Been with Malfoy have you?" he asked with an uncharacteristic sneer.  
  
Remus said nothing, and this seemed to anger Sirius more. "One day, you'll see what he really is," he warned. "A piece of stinking shit that's what, and then what will you do?" He asked roughly, prodding Remus angrily in the chest. James ran over to pull Sirius away from the smaller boy but Sirius was having none of it. Blindly he pushed James back. "No Prongs, It's him that's in the wrong. Aren't we good enough for you any more Moony? Aren't we good enough now that you've got Lucius-fucking-Malfoy?"  
  
At that Remus put his hands over his ears, he didn't need this. He couldn't cope with this. He felt too hot, even though his clothes were wet and cold, his head was pounding as if his mind was trying to break out of its prison of bone. With a small moan Remus pressed his hands harder against his ears.  
  
"LISTEN TO ME!" Sirius cried, "Why don't you listen to me anymore?"  
  
Remus whimpered again, he couldn't even hear Sirius anymore. All he could hear was the steady thumping of his head; his eyes were screwed shut so tightly that he could see stars in the darkness. How could he go from being so happy one moment to being so upset and angry the next? Suddenly he felt a pair of strong hands shaking him. It was Sirius.  
  
Sirius tore his friend's hands away from his ears and Remus opened his eyes. He looked as if he were in pain and Sirius stalled, caught by the love he felt for the amber eyed boy. Then Remus lunged, he flew at Sirius, his pale hands reaching out and scratching at the taller boy's face. "You think you could help me?" he hissed, sounding almost insane. "YOU CAN NEVER HELP ME!" he cried.  
  
Panicking James pulled Remus away from Sirius. Remus struggled against him, kicking and scratching whatever he could reach. By this time Peter had woken up and was peering through the gap in his curtains, his eyes wide with horror. "You're mad." He whispered, his comment directed at the struggling werewolf. "Mad." He repeated.  
  
Finally, using all of his strength Remus broke free of James's grip and whirled around to face him, his eyes wild and angry. James stared back; he had never seen Remus like this before. He had always been so calm. "You're right." James said quietly. "We can't help you, but only because you keep us locked out. If you talked to us we could understand."  
  
"No." Remus hissed from deep in his throat.  
  
"YES!" Sirius yelled angrily. "We understood before didn't we? We became anamigai for you didn't we?"  
  
"You didn't understand." Remus said, the words falling bitterly from his lips. "You have never understood."  
  
"AND MALFOY DOES?" Sirius roared, taking a step towards the werewolf.  
  
"YES!" Remus shouted back, "YES HE DOES, he understands me."  
  
Sirius wanted to cry, he wanted to scream. He wanted to shake Remus until he saw sense again. He half wanted to kill Remus at that moment.  
  
"Moony," James said softly, reaching out for his friend. Remus hissed and pulled away.  
  
"Leave me alone." He whispered, "Leave me alone, you're killing me!"  
  
James reached out again and Remus slapped his hand away, his amber eyes had taken on a wild feral look reminiscent of the wolf inside him. Remus was beyond thought at that moment. All he could feel was anger and a wild urge to escape. "I HATE YOU!" he cried. For a moment everything was silent and then James's fist connected with his face. Remus staggered back and looked up at the angry brown eyes of his friend.  
  
James was paused, ready to punch again when he saw the look in Remus's eyes. The anger had cleared and all James saw there was pain, lots of it, and the beginning of tears. "Remus," he said, softening instantly. He started toward the fallen boy but Remus scrambled up, fear glazing over the pain. Before James could do or say anything more Remus was gone, his feet tearing out of the tower as fast as they could go.  
  
"James?" Sirius said in a sort of half gasp. The two boys looked at each other, brown eyes meeting blue, and they both sighed. "What have we done?"  
  
"Mad." Peter said fearfully. "He's insane."  
  
  
  
Lucius opened the door of his room to find Severus Snape sitting on his bed, a letter clasped in the boy's bony fingers. Immediately his smile faded, he knew what that letter was. Somewhere deep inside he knew. Silently he walked over to the bed, and Severus handed the paper to him. Lucius read, and as he did he felt all light leave his body, driven away by the darkness inside him.  
  
Wordlessly he looked at the black haired Slytherin and Severus looked back, their eyes each as serious as the other.  
  
"Will you?" Severus asked tentatively.  
  
Lucius shook his head. "I don't know. Why did it have to happen now? The sun was just beginning to shine, and now I must be forever torn from it."  
  
Although Severus was not exactly sure what the blond haired boy was talking about he tried to comfort him anyway. "You don't have to be." He said.  
  
Lucius smiled sadly and laughed. "I was wrong. You can't change black to white. You can't make evil good. You can't fix what's been broken since it was made."  
  
Severus stared at him silently, "You aren't broken." He whispered, "And you aren't evil."  
  
A thin smile tore at Lucius's mouth, "No," he said. "I'm not evil, I'm empty. Devoid of feeling myself, I will be what others want me to be. I will feel what they want me to feel."  
  
Lucius closed his eyes slowly; his hands dropped softly, the pure white parchment drifting gently to meet the dark stone floor.  
  
  
  
Remus lay under the willow tree, his teeth clenched over the soft material of his Gryffindor robes. His head had long ceased to pound and now he was just in pain, both emotionally and physically. He cried into his sleeve, the tears burning his eyes like fire, he wanted to scream but couldn't. The left side of his face stung where James had hit it and this only added to Remus's tears. He shivered in his wet robes and his hands clutched at the grass beneath him, tearing it as he shook. Why couldn't he escape the pain inside of him?  
  
  
  
Lucius walked slowly down the corridor to the potions classroom. He was sure that someone was following him. Quickly he slipped into an empty classroom and waited by the door for whoever it was. Finally the figure reached the door and Lucius reached out. Grabbing the person's black robe, he pulled them through the door and flung them against the wall.  
  
Lucius narrowed his silver eyes as he was greeted by the taller figure of Sirius Black. "Why are you following me Black?" he demanded.  
  
Sirius sneered at him, "I know what you're up to Malfoy." He said. "You'd better leave Remus alone or I'll...."  
  
"Or you'll what?" Lucius asked, sneering right back.  
  
Sirius was going to answer but his hand seemed to swing up of its own accord. Lucius groaned as he was knocked to the floor. "You bastard." He spat.  
  
Something snapped inside Sirius and he lunged at the Slytherin, raining punches down on the older boy until he swore he could hear him crying. As Sirius moved away Lucius's booted foot moved up and kicked him where is would hurt the most. Hissing Sirius punched the blond in the nose, and again in the jaw. Lucius struggled to sit up, he spat on the stone floor creating a small puddle of blood. "This won't help you with Remus." He croaked.  
  
"IT'S LUPIN TO YOU!" Sirius roared, aiming another punch. This time his fist connected with the Slytherin's stomach and Lucius groaned, doubling over on the floor. Standing up Sirius kicked the boy again and headed out the door, pausing he said. "I know it won't, but I wanted to hurt you anyway."  
  
"One day," Lucius croaked, spitting out more blood. "One day you'll end up in Azkaban where you belong, you mark my words."  
  
"So will you," Sirius said. "So will you."  
  
  
  
Lucius walked down toward the lake, his shoulders hunched and head bent low. Although the sun shone brightly overhead and the lake glittered beneath, Lucius could not smile. One reason for this was because his face was in so much pain after his fight with Sirius, and the other was because he felt in his heart that he had lost all reason to. Soon it would be Halloween, and he would receive the dark mark, that is, if he chose to. Lucius walked toward the willow tree hoping that Remus would be there, hoping that he would find some reason, however small in size, to refuse the mark, to step into the light and away from the dark.  
  
As he drew nearer Lucius heard muffled sobs coming from behind the shining green curtain of leaves. Reaching out he pushed them out of his way and went inside. Remus lay on the ground, crying dryly into his sleeve. At the sound of Lucius entering he sat up, his amber eyes wide in shock at the state the silver-eyed boy was in.  
  
"What happened?" he asked tentatively touching the bruised face as Lucius sat down beside him.  
  
With a small, bitter smile Lucius replied, "Sirius."  
  
Remus nodded and dropped his hand. "I'm sorry." He said quietly.  
  
"No." Lucius said, grabbing his hand. "It's not your fault."  
  
Remus looked up into the serious silver eyes and he saw a new sadness that had not been there before. "What is it?" he asked, half dreading an answer.  
  
Lucius's pale had shook a little in his, and he closed his eyes before answering, "I am receiving the dark mark on Halloween night. That is, unless...unless I have a reason not to."  
  
Remus stared at him, his amber eyes giving away nothing. Inside Lucius burned a little flame of hope that had not yet been put out; he desperately wanted a reason, desperately. "I..." Remus whispered. He was torn, how could he save this boy and make him happy when he, himself was not so. With a small sob Remus realised that two people as dark and full of pain as they were could not change, all they would end up with, in the end, would be more pain. "I...I cannot." He finished; his voice cracking as he spoke.  
  
At that moment the flame of hope inside Lucius was extinguished forever. Lucius could almost feel the black rivers of darkness running through his blood and he felt, he felt so cold. Stiffly he stood up; it was as if the whole world had changed about him. Where there should have been sun and blue skies Lucius saw grey and black. Every colour was fading, except those belonging to Remus. He still saw the small Gryffindor clearly, his image staining his eyelids. He knew why Remus had said no, love could never be found if those who sought it were both devoid of it. Slowly, hardly aware of what he was doing, Lucius lifted the honey haired head up and kissed the pale forehead gently. Then, tearing himself away, he walked out from under the weeping willow tree and into the harsh glare of a sun that was no longer golden.  
  
Back under the emerald branches Remus bit his lip in an effort not to cry out after the blond boy. "I love you," he whispered. "I don't know how I do, but I do."  
  
  
  
(A/N) Don't worry it's not the end! I wouldn't end it like this, no the ending will be far more depressing Mwah hahahahahaha!! Anyway, review and tell me what you thought! Lots of love,  
Wildmoonflower  
  



	7. Weighed down by pain and drowning in blo...

A/N) Hello! Seventh chapter here for your reading pleasure, or displeasure, whatever it may be just remember to....review!!!!!  
  
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CHAPTER SEVEN: Weighed Down by Pain and Drowning in Blood  
  
Remus was standing in the middle of a never-ending field of soft, pink flowers. He was all alone and it was cold. The sky above shone silver and dark grey, occasionally flashing white as lightning sheeted across it. There was no rain and no wind. The flowers seemed to be singing; a sad, haunting song with no words. Remus reached out to pick one; it was then that he noticed his wrists. They had been slit and out of them poured not red blood but black. In horror he watched as it dripped onto the silky pink petals, slowly staining them black. It was then that it began to rain, big, fat droplets of black blood. They spilled from the clouds like tears and Remus felt himself begin to cry as well. His tears fell as black as the rain. Soon he was floating in a sea of black blood and there was no time to scream as a large wave pulled him under.  
  
Remus awoke with a start to find himself still under the willow tree, thoughts of the day before came rushing before his eyes and he pushed them away, refusing to think of it. The small silver hands on his watch told him it was lunchtime, he had missed class again. How many lessons had he missed since he had...well since everything had begun? He stood, smoothing out his wrinkled robes he realised that they had been dried by the sun. Remus stepped out from under the branches and made his way up to the school, no longer did he look at the sun or bask in its warmth, he hardly realised it was there.  
  
As if he were sleepwalking Remus walked blindly over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, taking a piece of bread he bit into it, tasting nothing as he swallowed. The bread was like cardboard in his throat, and it seemed to take ages to swallow. He closed his eyes in pain, aware of nothing around him.  
  
James watched the honey haired boy; he didn't know what to do. There was a bruise on Remus's face from where he had punched him, but that did not seem to be the trouble. Remus looked tired, he looked as if he were in the hands of death, and he looked as if he did not care. James longed for the simpler days of Quidditch fights and late night pranks. If all that growing up brought was pain then James felt that he did not want to grow up after all.  
  
Just then Lucius Malfoy walked into the great hall, his white-gold hair hanging about his face in a vain attempt to hide the bruises that covered it. Immediately James knew it had been Sirius's work and for some reason he felt ashamed. He wondered where his hot-tempered friend was, he had been gone since yesterday.  
  


Sirius black sat on a small staircase in the south wing of the castle. His hands were shaking and he was desperately trying to hold back tears, failing miserably. He felt disgusting, there were small stains of blood on his knuckles that he was sure belonged to Lucius Malfoy. Sirius wiped them against his robes in a desperate manner; how long he had been sitting there he did not know. At first he had just sat in silence but then as the past few days came rushing back to meet him the first threat of tears had loomed. Sirius didn't want to cry, he never cried, he was too old to cry. But you're never too old, he soon realised. You could never be too old to cry, never ever.  
  
Sirius smiled rather bitterly, his tears tasted of salt on his lips. It was the full moon tonight; he realised, and for the first time since they had found out Remus would not expect them to be there. Sirius was torn; he wanted to go anyway, to tell Remus it was okay, that he didn't have to explain anything. That he, Sirius, would love him whatever he did. On the other hand he was still so angry, he felt a red hot rage running through him and he knew, at least half of it was directed at Remus. The rest was at himself, and Lucius-fucking-Malfoy. How he hated that boy, he had wanted to kill him back in the classroom. He had been so tempted and yet in the end he could not, Lucius meant something to Remus and that was what had stopped him, he would do anything for Remus. If it came down to it he would kill for the honey haired werewolf.  
  
  
  
Later that night Remus made his way slowly to the Whomping Willow. He hardly noticed where he was going; it was amazing that he had even remembered that it was the full moon that night. He grabbed a long, rather crooked stick and touched the knot in the tree. The tree froze, stuck mid swing. Remus closed his eyes and slipped inside, all he could feel was pain; was it fair that there was yet more to come?  
  
  
  
Sirius stared at the black haired Slytherin, his blue eyes filled with hatred that was not meant for him. But, seeing as Snape was the only one about Sirius had decided he would have to do.  
  
"I saw Lupin sneaking out of the castle." Severus said his voice no more than a hiss.  
  
"So?" Sirius sneered. "Just because Malfoy's using him as his little whore doesn't mean you can keep tabs on him."  
  
Severus's black eyes flared angrily, "Lucius in not using him as his whore." He said, his voice quiet yet determined.  
  
This angered Sirius, he hated to think that Snape, of all people, could know more about what was going on than he did. "No," he agreed. "He's got you for that; after all, why else would he even want to hang about with you?"  
  
Severus clenched his fists and blinked back tears, why was he always so weak?  
  
Sirius smirked and then a wicked thought flashed, unprompted, across his mind. If Snape wants to know where Remus had gone, whispered the wicked voice, then why don't you tell him? Sirius tried to ignore it; he knew that it would be wrong, wrong, it would most definitely be wrong. However Sirius could not deny the hatred, the urge to do something evil as if that would cure him of all evil thoughts. It wasn't his fault he sometimes had evil thoughts after all, he was from the Black family. How could he be expected, coming from such a family, not to have even the slightest bit of evil inside him? Suddenly a sort of temporary insanity overtook the tall Gryffindor, hardly aware of what he was saying Sirius addressed the curious Slytherin.  
  
"If you go to the Whomping Willow you can find out his secret."  
  
Severus blinked; did he really want to know? He was curious to know more about the boy who had made Lucius Malfoy smile, if only for a short while.  
  
"There's a knot on the tree, prod it with a stick and the tree will freeze. A door opens, beyond that is a passage and at the end of that passage you will find the real Remus Lupin." Sirius's mouth was working by itself. He knew the wolf wasn't the real Remus, the shy quiet boy was real, not the wolf. But, no, wait. That Remus wasn't real either, the real Remus existed deep within the amber eyed boy and only Lucius Malfoy had been allowed to see him. Sirius smiled at the Slytherin, it was an angry, evil slash of a smile that didn't belong on his face but it reflected Sirius entirely at that moment.  
  
Severus looked at his blue eyed tormentor, was this a joke? He wanted to know, he had to find out. Whatever it was it couldn't be that bad. Lupin wasn't a dangerous boy but there was something different about him and, God help him for being curious, Severus wanted to know what it was. "Right." He said; turning on his heel and walking out of the castle before Sirius could attack him once more.  
  
Sirius watched him go with panic in his eyes; the smile had disappeared completely, along with his temporary insanity. Now all he felt was blinding panic. What the hell had he done?  
  
"Sirius?" said a voice, its nearness startling the boy. He whipped around and came face to face with James. "Are you alright?" the messy haired boy asked.  
  
Sirius shook his head, panic clutching at his heart. "Oh God, James I..., Snape he...I told him. Oh God, I sent him to the Willow, he's gonna die! I...I've turned Remus into...a murderer. God, James, he's gonna kill him! I did that, I did it!" He cried. James stared at his hot tempered friend in horror, what had driven him to do such a thing? "I did it, I did it." Sirius muttered over and over, shaking his head slightly as he did. James was scared; he knew Sirius was a little out of control, but to send Snape to a Werewolf's lair? Something had gone terribly wrong this year and the worst thing about it was that James had no idea why.  
  
"Sirius?" he said quietly. "Go back to the dormitory; just stay...just stay there. I've got to...I've got to go."  
  
Sirius nodded and walked off up the main stairs, still muttering under his breath. James took one last look at his friend and then set off, running as fast as he could.  
  
  
  
Severus Snape stood before the Whomping Willow, his black hair moving lightly in the cold night air. He inhaled, smelling the cool, fresh grass and the nearby trees of the forbidden forest. The grounds were awash with silver as the full moon watched over them. With a sense of nervousness Severus stretched out his branch and touched the knot lightly. With a groan the large tree shuddered to a halt and a small opening appeared. Severus stepped forward.  
  
  
  
James ran as fast as was possible over the slippery grass, his shoes sliding on the mud. He could not even think; all he knew was that he had to stop this, this madness! As he reached the Whomping Willow he saw the thin, cloaked figure of Severus Snape quietly entering the passage. "Wait!" he cried, but Snape did not hear him. James called again and when no answer came he made his way down to the entrance.  
  
Severus walked slowly up the dirt covered passage taking care not to trip on the many roots that protruded from the ground. A sense of dread had filled him, but he felt it too late to turn back now. He continued on, his hands sliding against the earthy wall as he tried not to trip. As he reached the end of the passage Severus heard a low whining sound, instantly his blood ran cold; at the top of the passage, just at the entrance to some sort of room stood a large silver wolf. Severus was frozen in terror, Lupin was a Werewolf? The fact that he disappeared for a few days every month made much more sense now. In fact, now that it did make sense Severus found that he didn't really want to know after all. Suddenly the wolf began to walk down the passage towards him, its yellow eyes regarding him intently. Severus closed his eyes in terror.  
  
"Snape!" called a voice from the end of the passage. Severus whipped around to find James Potter standing there, a look of panic frozen on his tanned face. "Come on!" James cried. Severus shook his head in fear, "I can't." he croaked.  
  
James rolled his eyes; there was no time for this. Bolting up the passage he grabbed the frightened Slytherin and dragged him back down towards the entrance. The wolf growled and began to run after them, its yellow eyes glinting in the dark.  
  
Frightened, James threw Severus out of the doorway and then followed, prodding the knot to close the entrance as he did. A loud howl sounded from inside the passage and Severus shook as he sank slowly to the ground. "Are you okay?" James asked, "Did you get hurt?"  
  
Severus shook his head and looked at James, a quiet anger sparking in his black eyes. "How could you?" he asked.  
  
"How could I rescue you?" James asked confusedly.  
  
"What is it with you Gryffindors huh?" Severus said; his voice rising slightly as he clambered clumsily to his feet. "You think you can do whatever you want with me and I won't feel it?"  
  
James was silent; Sirius had gone too far this time. He knew that and no doubt Sirius did as well. Snape had done nothing to any of them and yet their cruelty had almost killed him. There was no apology good enough to change that.  
  
"I...I want Black to leave me alone. If he ever comes near me again I wont hesitate to try and kill him, you reap what you sow remember? That goes for you as well Potter. One day you'll both get what's coming to you!"  
  
"Don't tell," James whispered, a worried thought overtaking him. "Don't tell about Remus, please!"  
  
Severus glared at the Gryffindor, he wanted to tell. Yes it was a mean spiteful thing to do, but didn't they deserve it for all the things they had done to him over the years? However, he was loyal to Lucius and Lucius had some sort of 'thing' going on with the Werewolf. If only to keep Lucius happy, Severus decided, he would keep it a secret. "Alright," he told James. "I won't tell, but make no mistake, I'm not doing it for you." He hissed.  
  
James nodded dumbly and watched as the Slytherin walked back up to the school, his black cloak billowing out behind him.  
  
  
  
Remus awoke in pain; he was lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Sitting up slowly he winced, there was rather a lot of blood smeared on the floor where he had lain. Nervously his large amber eyes took in the fresh cuts on his arms and chest. Transformations were so much worse without the others to help him through it. Just then an image flashed through Remus's mind. It was of a frightened Severus Snape. His eyes widening so much it hurt; Remus looked at the blood on the floor. Snape had been here last night, he had been in the passage when he had transformed. Remus clutched at his hair, tearing at it. "No, no, no, no, no." He repeated. What if the blood; or at least some of it belonged to Snape? What if he had injured the dark haired boy? Or worse, what if he had killed him?  
  
Remus folded his arms around himself and curled up into a ball, he should be up with Madam Pomfrey right now but, she would not want to tend to a murderer. Shaking silently he began to cry. What life was this he had been cursed with?  
  
Then the sound of footsteps made Remus look up. It was James, fresh robes in hand and a worried look on his face. Remus stared at the other boy and then at his blood covered hands. He was a murderer, a werewolf, a dark creature not fit to live at all. With an anguished moan he buried his face in his hands, leaving smears of red blood over his cheeks.  
  
"Remus?" James said softly, he hadn't known what state to expect to find the smaller boy in but, it certainly hadn't been this.  
  
"James....if I, did I?"  
  
"What? Did you what?" James asked urgently, pushing Remus's hands away from his face.  
  
"Snape was here, I re...remember. Is this just my blood? Or is it...is it his James?" Remus stared at his red hands, "Did I kill him?" he asked softly.  
  
"Oh no, no, no Remus. Don't think that, I would never let you..." James set down the fresh set of robes and pulled the trembling boy to him, enveloping his shaking form on a hug. "You didn't, you didn't." He repeated, "Never, never, never." Remus was silent for a moment and then he began to cry, long, wailing sobs which pained James to hear them. Remus's pale arms gripped the bigger boy as if he were a life jacket; he didn't know whether he was crying from relief or what.  
  
"God James," Remus gasped between sobs. "Why was he here? I could have, if I had..."  
  
Still hugging the other boy to him James swallowed nervously. He had not spoken to Sirius since last night before he had gone for Snape. When he had returned to the dormitory the curtains around Sirius's bed had been drawn and had not opened at all. "Sirius told him where to find you." He admitted sadly.  
  
Shocked, Remus pulled back and stared at James with horrified eyes. "What? Why?"  
  
"I don't know," he answered quietly. "I only reached Snape just in time. But I would never; I would never let you become a murderer Remus."  
  
"But Sirius would." Remus choked, the words burning like acid on his tongue. Sirius Black had almost made him a murderer, Remus felt sick, he felt disgusting. He had lost Lucius, he had lost all happiness and he had been used by his friend for a horrible, twisted prank. "I need to speak to him." Remus said, struggling to his feet. He swayed uneasily for a moment, holding James for support. Silently James dressed his friend in the clean, black robes. Remus let him, his own hands shaking too much to help. Silently they set off for Gryffindor tower, Remus too consumed with pain and anger to really acknowledge James's presence any more.  
  
  
  
Sirius lay on his bed, his face pale, blue eyes staring into nothing. Remus, he cared for the boy so much so how could he have done that? He didn't even know if Snape was alright, he didn't really care. All he wanted was for Remus to be okay, he didn't want Remus to become a murderer because of him. Suddenly the hangings on his bed were thrown open and Sirius blinked at the bright light. Sitting up he realised that it was Remus Lupin himself who had thrown open the curtains. "I...Remus I" he croaked, his throat sore from crying.  
  
Remus shot him a venomous look. "Spare it." He hissed, yanking Sirius off the bed. Sirius whimpered as he hit the cold stone floor, he deserved it, he knew he deserved it.  
  
"What am I to you Sirius? A toy? Something to use when you feel like disposing of people?"  
  
"No!" Sirius said hoarsely.  
  
"THEN WHY?" Remus cried, he knelt on the floor in front of the black haired boy and grasped his tanned hands in his own blood covered ones. "Why?" he whispered, tears brimming in his amber eyes. With a choked sob Remus slid his hands away and Sirius looked in horror at the blood that now coated his own hands.  
  
"Is this?" he asked, horrified. "Is Snape...dead?"  
  
Remus's mouth twisted unpleasantly and he wiped his bloody fingertips across Sirius's open mouth. "No," he hissed. "It's mine."  
  
Sirius blanched a little at the metallic taste invading his mouth and he shifted away. What had he done? "Remus I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant too but I was angry and...I don't know."  
  
"You were angry." Remus hissed, kneeling across from Sirius. "You were angry and that justifies you almost making me kill someone?"  
  
"No, never!" Sirius cried.  
  
"You say you want to help me Sirius and yet you seek to add to my troubles by making me a murderer." Remus shook slightly and Sirius moved over to him. The smaller boy looked worse, worse than Sirius had ever seen him look before. He was pale and thin and covered in blood, his own blood nonetheless.  
  
"No," Sirius repeated. "I only want to help you. I don't know quite why I did what I did but I'll never do it again, I promise. I'm so sorry, I am, I am."  
  
Remus stared at him, tears rolling freely down his face now, turning pink as they mingled with the blood. "I'm covered in blood Sirius." He whispered, his hands gripping the other boy's shoulders. "My blood, it's too dark. And there's so much pain, I can't escape it. I love him, and he can't escape either. I can't help him but I want him. Why is there so much pain?"  
  
Sirius didn't care if Remus was talking about Malfoy, at that moment it didn't matter. What mattered was the boy in front of him, the boy who was crying onto his shoulder, great racking sobs. He finally saw the pain that the smaller boy was in and he wanted to make it disappear.  
  
"I'm covered in blood Sirius." Remus sobbed. "I'm a dark creature, not fit for the sun. I want it all to go away, why won't it go away?"  
  
  
  
(A/N) Okay no Lucius in that one but he will be in the next one most definitely. That was my take on the Sirius/Snape werewolf prank. I kind of altered it a bit to fit my story. Hope ya don't mind. Leave a review on your way out and don't forget to come again!!


	8. Better than okay

(A/N) Finally! The eighth chapter! Okay this one took a while because I have been doing my higher exams and I really needed to concentrate on that. But now they are over and I can concentrate on this and on How Voldemort part 2 which is nearly finished, you must believe me!!!  
  
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CHAPTER EIGHT: Better Than Okay  
  
Lucius Malfoy stood beside the open window in his bedroom. He let the crisp night air drift over him, sweeping through the loose strands of his white- gold hair. He sighed, tasting the soft scent of the pine trees and night- flowers. Behind him, on the dark green velvet sofa sat Severus Snape, his eyes narrow and his mouth shaped into a small frown. He had arrived that evening at the elder boy's door, upset and desperate to tell someone of the previous night's happenings. Lucius had listened; he had shown anger towards Sirius and James but no sympathy for Severus.  
  
"Halloween is tomorrow." Lucius said, letting the words slip quietly off his tongue.  
  
Severus nodded, his black hair falling over his face. "Lucius," he said rather hurriedly, as if trying to get the words out before he changed his mind. "Take me with you."  
  
The older boy turned around swiftly, his silver eyes narrowed as he said, "Why? Why would you ever...?"  
  
Severus just looked at him, if Lucius refused him this, well, he didn't know what else he had in life. Severus didn't particularly find the prospect of becoming a Death Eater thrilling but Lucius was going to become one and if that was so then he would be one as well.  
  
"You can't tell." Lucius spoke suddenly, "About Lupin."  
  
Snape nodded, "I know."  
  
Seemingly satisfied Lucius nodded his head and closed the window, shivering a little in his green, Slytherin pyjamas. He moved over to the fire, the glowing flames casting him in a golden light. He looked both heavenly and evil, all at the same time. His eyes, however told nothing, he had resigned himself already lost, destined for a life of servitude to an evil and sadistic master. Love, he had sworn, would never touch him again. "Very well" he said softly.  
  
Severus stood; he walked over to the fire. Standing near the blond boy, but not too near, because there seemed to have been a new distance created between Lucius and everyone else. A sort of invisible barrier that spoke, without saying anything, 'Don't come to close'.  
  
"Good night." Severus said, his voice sounding strangely formal. He resisted the rather ridiculous urge to bow. Turning stiffly he left the room, the heavy door banging loudly as it closed behind him.  
  
As soon as it had shut Lucius sank to the floor, his fingers tangling softly in the warm green carpet. Breathing deeply he closed his eyes, he felt so very, very empty. Scraping his nails through the fabric he lay, stretched out on his back in front of the fire. The flames danced enticingly beside him and he wondered what it would be like to just walk right into them. But even these thoughts did not linger long in his mind. They, like everything else, led him to thoughts of Remus. The boy he had believed would be his salvation, his passage to the light. Now that passage had been blocked and Remus was gone. Lucius curled up into a ball, trying to get as small as he could and turned away from the fire. Closing his eyes he fell into an uneasy sleep.  
  
In his dream Lucius was standing, tied to a stake and surrounded by dry branches. This yet, unlit bonfire stood in the middle of a clearing surrounded by cherry blossom trees. The blossom petals blew around him, whispering through his hair and caressing his pale skin. The sky above was white and heavy; Lucius was expecting snow at any moment. But none came; instead small drops of golden fire began to fall from the heavens. The branches around Lucius caught fire and he began to struggle, it was, however, no use as the rope seemed to wind tighter around his body the more he moved. The flames crept up the edges of his white robes and licked at his skin. This time Lucius could feel them and they hurt, they hurt beyond believing. The curly silver tendrils of smoke wound their way up to his face and beyond. Lucius choked on the heavy fumes, he tried to scream but no sound came. The petal around him had all but disappeared, lying now as silver dust of the burning grass. His white-gold hair had caught fire now and Lucius struggled harder, the rope squeezing him as he opened his mouth in a silent scream. Finally Lucius gave into the flames as they licked at the milky white skin of his face. The last sight he saw was the cherry blossom trees, burning red and pink as the flames licked at the silken petals.  
  
  
  
Sirius sat by the bed, his deep blue eyes looking tenderly at the small, huddled lump of red blankets that was Remus Lupin. It was ten o'clock on Saturday night and Remus had been in bed since the afternoon. Sirius had washed his hands and face, cleaning the blood off the trembling boy. "Blood," Remus had muttered. "Blood"  
  
He and James had settled the vaguely protesting boy into the bed and Sirius had sat with him, muttering his apologies until the glassy amber eyes had closed and Remus's breathing had become the quiet, even breathing of those deep in slumber. Sirius didn't know if he was forgiven, he didn't care. He didn't deserve forgiveness, he didn't deserve anything, but Remus did.  
  
Remus deserved happiness and peace. What God was there up above that could give one boy so many problems? Sirius smiled softly as the lump in the blankets shifted and a quiet sigh reached his ears. Remus was here and he was trusting Sirius. That was all that the dark haired boy needed and he found that he didn't care about Lucius Malfoy anymore. It didn't matter if Remus had found a place in his heart for the Slytherin, as long as he didn't cut Sirius off anymore then he would be happy.  
  
"Sirius?" asked a small voice. Sirius jumped as he noticed Remus's wide amber eyes open and stare at him.  
  
"I'm sorry." Sirius said, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them, he would always feel guilty, that he knew.  
  
"I didn't go to Madam Pomfrey." Remus whispered and Sirius almost laughed, trust Remus to be worried about that.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Sirius said. "Do you feel okay?"  
  
Remus sat up slowly, trembling under his robes. With one pale hand he pushed back the honey hair that hung in front of his eyes. He smiled painfully, "I was okay, now I'm...I'm...." He sighed and wrung his hands. "I need to be alone." Remus said finally, his voice little more than a whisper.  
  
Sirius nodded, swallowing painfully. It was just for a while, he told himself. Remus just needed some time to sort things out then he would come back, he would confide in Sirius. "Alright." He said, getting up to leave; almost laughing at himself. Nothing would be the same, ever again. Things had changed, there was a new wall between Remus and the rest of them, and although they might be able to peer through the cracks they would never be able to knock it down. With a final, rather sad nod at Remus he left, shutting the door tightly behind him.  
  
Once the dark haired boy had left Remus wrapped the covers tightly around his body and walked to the window. It was night-time, how long had he been asleep? His amber eyes flicked to the Quidditch calendar on the wall beside James's bed. It was Halloween tomorrow, Remus realised. With this realisation came thoughts of Lucius Malfoy, the long haired Slytherin who had haunted his dreams and nightmares and who had been his first thought when he had believed himself a murderer. Would he still want me, Remus had thought; if he knew me to be as dark as him? It had been a small relief to find that he had not been responsible for the death of Severus Snape but still the blood on his hands had told him one thing. His friends would not always be there. Nothing lasted forever and you should grasp happiness when you found it and hold on to it as long as you could. He wouldn't have Sirius and James forever, but he would have them as long as he could. And as for Lucius, he would receive the Dark Mark tomorrow unless, unless Remus got to him first. Lucius was his light, Lucius was his path to something better than okay, something better than what he was. Remus wanted that, he wanted something better and most of all he wanted Lucius.  
  
  
  
On Sunday morning Remus awoke to the warmth of the sun shining on him from outside, looking out the window he saw that although the sun was shining the wind had already begun to lift the leaves from the trees. Taking a deep sigh Remus breathed in the crisp scent of the dead leaves through the open window. He smiled, a rare smile that seemed to light up his face. Autumn was here and it was time for a change, whether it be for better or worse Remus did not yet know.  
  
Once he had showered and changed the small honey haired boy made his way out of the common room. He was delayed however by James who appeared in front of him, concern written all over his handsome face.  
  
"Are you feeling okay?" James asked; a rather hopeful look in his brown eyes.  
  
Remus managed a small, reassuring smile. "Yes." He said, "If you see Sirius, tell him...tell him that I'll see him later."  
  
James nodded and then smiled. "Where are you going now?"  
  
"Somewhere." Remus answered and James smiled properly.  
  
"It's good to know someone is," he said. "Just don't forget about the Halloween dance tonight!"  
  
Remus nodded and watched his messy haired friend make his way up to the dormitories before slipping through the portrait hole.  
  
The air outside the castle smelled crisp and new. Remus inhaled deeply as he made his way toward the lake. The water lapped against the shore in a gentle rhythm and a cool wind bade the autumn leaves dance around the Gryffindor's feet. He wasn't sure that Lucius would even turn up, it wasn't even planned. All Remus knew was that they seemed to find each other when it seemed right and if Lucius needed him this was where Remus would be.  
  
  
  
Lucius stared at the small figure making its way across the grounds to the lake. It was Remus, he could tell by soft waves of honey hair and the sure way the figure sat beside the Weeping Willow tree. He looked well, Lucius thought. With a sigh he rubbed at the bags under his silver eyes. Maybe, maybe he could go and see him just one last time? Lucius mentally slapped himself, seeing Remus would only complicate matters. No matter what he thought the boy could have done for him, or what he still hoped he could do it was over. Everything was over, the choice had been made and Lucius would be a Death Eater that night.  
  
The small Remus figure cast a pebble into the lake and Lucius's silver eyes flicked back to him, then their eyes met. Silver on amber and Lucius was caught. Neither of them seemed to be able to look away no matter how hard they tried. Inside Lucius was screaming, why was he doing this to himself? Then Remus waved softly, hesitantly and Lucius's heart leapt. "Remus." He breathed, Remus. Without another thought Lucius ran from the window and out of the entrance hall. He felt as though his feet were barely meeting the ground at all as he made his way down the grassy hill to the lake, and to Remus.  
  
By the time he reached to other boy Remus had stood up and they now faced each other, both expressions wide eyed and hesitant. "Hey," Remus almost whispered.  
  
Frozen, Lucius said nothing, nor did he move. A second later however his hesitation went out of the window as he grabbed the amber eyed boy and kissed him. Remus moaned and Lucius pushed him away.  
  
"I don't want to be a Death Eater." He said, looking so scared that Remus took his hands and kissed his forehead.  
  
"You don't have to be." Came the reply. Lucius almost choked on the tears that seemed to be pouring from his eyes. He gripped Remus tightly as the world around him spun out of control, as long as he held onto Remus he would be safe, safe.  
  
"This is insane." Lucius muttered into the other boy's green jumper. His jumper, he noted with a teary smile.  
  
Remus felt as though he would explode, Lucius was here and Lucius was holding him as though he were a life preserver. So this was love, Remus thought, this was love and he would happily drown in it. He smiled as he felt Lucius playing with his jumper.  
  
"It's yours." Remus said.  
  
"No, it isn't mine any more. It belongs to you now."  
  
Remus smiled and this time it was he who kissed Lucius. In that moment they both felt free, they both felt better than okay.  
  
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(A/N) ok, so that was quite short. Next one will be longer. I've only got about two or three more chapters to go.....yay!! Anyway, be warned, just because this chapter ends on the happy Lucius/Remus note doesn't mean that everything will be hugs and bunnies in the next one! Well please read and REVIEW!!! Thanx 


	9. Everything sweet soon turns sour

(A/N) Right- here is the ninth chapter. You may have noticed that I have changed my name. And that I haven't updated since Easter. That is because I have had a virus on my computer which didn't allow me to access certain sites. Anyway it was very hard to get rid of but it seems to have gone now- so here is the next chapter!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER NINE: Everything Sweet Soon Turns Sour

Remus glanced fondly down at white-blond head that lay in his lap. He sifted his pale fingers through the smooth hair and smiled as Lucius shifted beneath his hand. It was seven pm, the Halloween ball started in an hour and Remus had no intention of going. Going to the said ball would mean being separated from Lucius and Remus wasn't ready for that yet, especially when he had just got him back. Remus wanted to stay in that moment, under the willow tree, with Lucius, forever.

"The ball starts soon." Lucius said absently, twisting to smile up at Remus.

"Hmmmm." Remus said.

"We should go."

Remus frowned and stared at the blond boy who sat up, a little smile on his pale face.

"Why?" he asked.

Lucius shrugged, he wasn't sure why. He just felt like he needed to go. To show Sirius and everyone that nothing could break him, that he was still okay. Also he wanted to do something normal. He was tired of hiding in the shadows and lying to everyone. He was tired of being pushed into things that he didn't want to do by his father and he wanted to show everyone he could be whoever he wanted to be.

"Lets go together." He whispered.

Remus gazed in wonder at the blushing boy in front of him; he didn't think he had ever seen Lucius blush before. Did he mean together? Like as in a couple together? What would everyone think; did he actually care what anyone would think? This was Lucius and he wanted Lucius therefore if Lucius wanted to go to the Halloween ball with him then Remus would gladly agree.

"Yes," he said with a smile. "Yes."

Lucius grinned, a smile which lit his whole face and set a sparkle in his silver eyes. A few hours ago it had seemed that all was lost and now he was happy again.

Remus was dancing inside; he had never imagined that one person could make him so happy. He felt like flying.

Silently the two boys walked back up to the castle. Two figures walking side by side, white-gold and honey hair blowing in the breeze, the russet autumn leaves curling about their feet and a smile on both their faces.

"I'll meet you at the entrance to the Great Hall." Lucius said as they entered the deserted entrance hall, everybody was already up in their dormitories dressing for the occasion. Dumbledore had decorated the entrance with large carved pumpkins and their flickering candlelight was the only thing that lit the room. Looking at Lucius, his pale face flickering in gold and black shadows Remus just couldn't help but kiss him.

"At seven o'clock." He breathed.

Lucius nodded, "Seven o'clock."

* * *

Lucius stepped through the entrance to the Slytherin common room where he was instantly greeted by a fair few members of his house inquiring why he was not yet dressed for the occasion. A few of the girls, trussed up like turkeys, hung on him as he tried to make his way to his own room. No doubt they were hoping he'd ask them to the ball. Well, there was no chance of that, not now he had Remus; the honey haired boy who had saved him.

Shaking the various girls away Lucius pushed open the door of his room and then slammed it, loudly, in their pouting faces.

The fire was flaming gold and red in the fireplace and the orange candles flickered in their holders. Lucius smirked; Dumbledore and his loyal army of house elves had really outdone themselves this time.

"Lucius." said a voice from behind him.

Lucius jumped and whirled around, whipping out his wand. He sighed in relief as Severus stepped out from the shadows beside the door. The black haired boy was dressed in his black dress robes and his rather unruly hair had been tied back. He looked almost good, for Snape.

"Where have you been?" Severus asked, his black eyes glinting in the candle light as he crossed over to sit on Lucius's unmade bed.

"With Remus."

Snape nodded and sighed, his long, bony fingers playing with the green tassels on the bed cover.

"I won't become my father Severus." Lucius said walking over to his dressing table. "I won't become a Death Eater."

Severus nodded and rose to stand beside the pale boy. Running his fingers through the smooth white-blond hair Severus hissed "I know."

Lucius turned to face him, his wide silver eyes staring into Severus's narrow black ones. "And you won't either," he whispered. "I won't let you."

Severus breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of the boy before him. Lucius smelt of rain and autumn and something else.....someone else- Remus.

"I know you won't." Severus breathed raggedly. He opened his eyes and saw Lucius, his eyes closed, thick eyelashes resting on his cheeks and his mouth open, breathing quietly. Severus moved his hand, his dark fingers tangled in the silky strands of pale hair and Lucius leaned into his touch. Severus inhaled deeply and then sighed. For a moment he could almost imagine that Lucius was in love with him and not Remus. He could almost imagine that it would be alright to kiss him, almost.

Then the spell was broken and Lucius turned around again, his silver eyes scanning the dresser until they found what he was looking for. With a soft smile Lucius reached out with one hand and picked up his hairbrush.

Suddenly he felt a tug around his navel. Immediately his whole world collapsed. He just managed to turn to Severus, a look of panic in his silver eyes before he was transported.

Severus watched in horror as Lucius disappeared from the room before his very eyes. All that was left was the hairbrush which had fallen to the floor. Severus stared at it for about ten minutes, frozen in horror, frozen in sadness, frozen knowing it was destiny. No matter what Lucius did, no matter how often he said he wouldn't it was Lucius's destiny to become a Death Eater. It had been his destiny from birth as it was now Severus's destiny to follow him.

With shaking fingers Severus picked up the portkey, Lucius's hairbrush, Lucius's destiny, both their doom.

* * *

Remus sighed and played with the hem of his dark green dress robes. They were Slytherin colour and they made him look like Robin Hood but he had figured that Lucius would like them and that was all that mattered. Lucius: that was all that mattered.

But Lucius was late; the ball had started half an hour ago. Everyone was already there, everyone except the one person he wanted to be there. Even Sirius and James had gone into the hall without him, they hadn't forgotten him. Every five minutes they waved him over or made a silly face at him, trying to make him laugh.

But Remus couldn't laugh; he was too nervous. What if Lucius had stood him up? What if Lucius didn't really like him? What if it had all been some cruel and twisted joke that the Slytherin had cooked up to humiliate him?

But how could he think that? Lucius was the only one who understood him, the only one. The only one Remus had ever loved. The only one he would ever love. Before his eyes couples danced together under the black and orange streamers that adorned the ceiling and walls, lit by the flickering candlelight, their faces relaxed and smiling. No worries clouding their brains. How Remus wanted that. He knew he could have it with Lucius, but where was Lucius?

* * *

Lucius lay on a cold stone floor, his long, silky hair spread out in the dirt beneath him, and his back sending splinters of pain through his body. Lucius coughed and blood bubbled up over his lips, painting two red trails over his snow-white skin. Suddenly he felt a hand wrap itself in the white-gold strands of his hair.

"Such beautiful hair," a cold voice hissed from the darkness. Another hand caressed his cheek and Lucius coughed again sending more blood bubbling up. Suddenly he felt a snake-like tongue on his face, licking away the blood. "Such beautiful skin, such beautiful pure-blood." The tongue came again, this time descending into Lucius's open mouth, tasting the blood on his tongue.

Lucius coughed again and pushed the figure away with his slim hands, ignoring the pain this caused him. For a moment there was nothing and Lucius moaned in pain and anger, the noise echoing around him. He should have known he could never escape it. He should have known his father would trick him. Midnight? Hah! The portkey would be something he least expected it to be at the time he least expected. Lucius closed his eyes and an image of Remus tattooed itself onto his closed eyelids. Remus, Lucius choked out a sob, then the tears started to flow, mingling with the blood on his face. Before he knew what was happening the tongue was back again, tasting the tears that fell and fell. Tears that fell for Remus who waited for him at a ball that Lucius would never attend.

"Your son is perfect Jared, another Malfoy for my collection. I can almost taste his pain."

There was some shuffling and then out of the darkness Lucius heard his father's voice, "Yes my lord."

Suddenly Lucius screamed. Why did this have to happen to him? What had he done to deserve it except be born a Malfoy?

"He is wilful." Voldemort hissed clasping Lucius's left arm in his hands. "But he will be mine."

In one smooth motion Voldemort ripped away Lucius sleeve and flung it across the floor where it landed, unbeknownst to Lucius, at the feet of a terrified Severus Snape.

Voldemort ran his own claw-like hand up the pale arm as Lucius continued to cry, his heart breaking inside. "Silence." Voldemort hissed, placing a hand over the boy's mouth. With his other hand he pressed his wand painfully into the pale white flesh and muttered a spell. Immediately Lucius was overcome with pain, he screamed Remus's name as his body twisted and writhed on the dirty stone floor. Then all the pain disappeared and he was left with a smouldering Dark Mark burnt into his pale flesh.

Voldemort smiled cruelly before forcing Lucius up into his arms. Stroking the boy's bloodstained face with his claws he then kissed Lucius roughly, biting his tongue till blood once again filled the boy's mouth and spilt out onto his chin.

"Mine." He hissed.

Then Voldemort and Lucius's father were gone.

In the darkness Lucius cried, curled up on the floor in the blood and dirt, his left arm in pain and his heart burnt to dust by the same spell.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice whispered his name, a voice that Lucius recognised very well. "Severus?" he asked the darkness, his voice raw and crackly.

"Yes," came the reply. "I'm here."

Lucius scrambled to sit up and tentatively he reached out to touch the other boy. "Are you....did he?"

"Yes." Severus said shakily. "He marked me; it wasn't as bad as what he did to you though."

Lucius choked back another sob. "Severus, I'm so sorry...I'm so, so sorry."

* * *

Remus sat in the middle of the Great Hall, tears streaming silently down his face. The ball had long since ended and Lucius had not turned up. Remus felt helpless, like he could do nothing. He didn't want to do anything, he wanted to cry until he had cried so much that every part of him had turned to water and he no longer existed.

The candlelight flickered over him making the tears on his face sparkle and glisten. "Lucius, why?" he sobbed. "WHY?????"

The only answer he got was his own echo, and so he sat in the candlelight, the streamers falling down around him, trapping him in a circle of coloured paper. A honey haired boy,

his heart burnt to dust.

* * *

(A/N) okay the end of another chapter. Nice huh? Heh heh. I know it was a bit dark and gloomy but I never said this was a happy story. Anyway please review!!!! If u review I will finish the story for u!!!!!


	10. The poison in our blood

(A/N) Hello!!! So this story is nearly at an end. I haven't decided whether this will be the last chapter or whether I will write another. Anyhow, basically I've enjoyed writing this story and it's longer than I thought it would be. Lucius and Remus are like my favourite Harry Potter characters (along with Draco) and I really wanted to write a good story involving them. I think I have succeeded. I hope I have but if not, oh well and I hope you all enjoyed reading this anyway.

CHAPTER TEN: The Poison in Our Blood

Outside the wind raged and howled through the trees and the rain splattered against what leaves remained, shining like diamond drops in the night. Inside, in the Malfoy heir's bedroom Lucius sat, leaning against Snape who was in turn leaning on the wall. The rain hit the windows forcefully and every drop echoed in the boys ears.

"Severus?" Lucius whispered; his voice sounding alien to his ears.

"Yes?" Severus said, looking down at the bloodstained head resting on his chest.

"I can't have him anymore."

There was silence for a moment as both boys contemplated this statement. All Lucius could imagine was Remus waiting for him at the Halloween ball, unaware of what had happened, unaware that Lucius was no longer....pure.

"Oh god!" Lucius choked out, his pale fingernails digging into Severus's skin as he clutched him tightly. He could still feel Voldemort, could still feel the poison in his skin, why hadn't his father done something? Why didn't his father care just a little? Why did his father let him do that?

After they had gone and Severus and Lucius had been left in the dark they had thought that had been the end of it. But then, about two hours later, two hours of pain and panic, Voldemort had come back. Come back for Lucius. He had screamed, Severus had screamed. They had both screamed but no one had cared, and now Lucius was broken. Just another slave to be used by Voldemort in any way he wished.

Severus lifted his hand and placed it tentatively in the older boy's hair. Lucius flinched slightly but then relaxed into the touch, releasing his grip on Severus and lifting his face up to the other boy's.

"I can't have him anymore." Lucius said.

Severus nodded, tears slipping silently down his cheeks. Lucius stared at him for a moment and then pulled away, clambering shakily to his feet. Standing, his fists tight in his hair Lucius let out an ear-splitting scream. Severus got up and reached out, trying to silence the tearstained boy but Lucius pushed him away.

"I wanted him!" Lucius cried, picking a vase from the table and flinging it hard against the wall, showering coloured glass all over the floor.

"I wanted him!" he cried again, pushing the table over. Severus jumped out of the way and stood near the bed, a shiver running through his body.

"I didn't want this!" Lucius screamed while banging his fists against the wall. "I can't see him anymore! Its too dark and I can't see him in the dark!"

He stumbled over to Severus and grabbed onto the front of his robes. Two pairs of tearful eyes stared into each other and then Lucius sank to his knees, his fingers still twisted into the black material. "I am lost." He whispered.

"You are lost." Severus agreed, his hands once again finding their way into the smooth strands of white-gold hair.

* * *

Remus Lupin sat at the window beside his bed in the Gryffindor dormitories. Outside the snow was falling, covering the footprints left behind by the snowball fights that had taken place earlier in the day. Remus had not taken part; he had stood under the willow tree, its braches bare and covered with frost. The lake was frozen over, much like Remus's heart. He had not seen Lucius or for that matter, Snape since the day of the Halloween ball. It was now the morning of Christmas Eve.

What had happened Remus did not know, but that night, when he had sat on the floor in the Great Hall, crying his eyes out Sirius had been there. He had come into the hall, his black hair soft and his eyes warm and full of compassion. He had gathered Remus into his arms and just held him. No questions asked, Sirius had never asked Remus why he had been so upset that night. Either he knew already or he knew that Remus did not want to discuss it.

Slowly but surely he had helped Remus find his feet again when Lucius had not returned. Remus sighed and reached out a pale hand to write in the early morning mist on the window. Over and over again his fingers traced the letters.

"Remus?" Sirius asked as he opened the door, his hair wet from the falling snow. He had just finished Quidditch practice with James and was soaked to the bone. "Are you coming for breakfast?"

Remus looked at him, his amber eyes blank and unresponsive. "Yes." He said, jumping down off the windowsill. Sirius smiled and ruffled the honey coloured hair which had grown longer since Halloween and was now in straggly curls past his shoulders. Remus walked on ahead out of the room and Sirius, curious as to what the boy had been doing, glanced back to the window. There, written clearly in the mist were the letters LM.

* * *

Lucius stood in his bedroom in the Slytherin dormitories. Severus stood behind him, a hand on the blond boy's shoulder. "Are you ready?" he asked.

Lucius smirked, "We're back." He said. "I never thought I'd see this place again." Unconsciously he ran his hand over the sleeve which covered his Dark Mark, flinching a little his face relaxed into its now commonplace icy expression.

"Yes," Severus repeated. "We're back."

"Breakfast." Lucius said, turning to leave the room. Severus took one final glance and then followed the older boy. Lucius was like a different person now, in the months they had spent away from Hogwarts, living in the company of Voldemort and other Death Eaters Lucius had lost his will to resist. He had disappeared to Voldemort's rooms every night, leaving Severus alone and scared for his friend. Lucius had clammed up until he was nothing but ice, ice that would not melt. Severus had hoped that maybe returning to Hogwarts would provoke some feeling in Lucius but it seemed it had not. Lucius truly was lost.

They walked silently through the halls to the Great Hall, each wearing equally icy expressions on their faces, as cold as the weather outside.

As the large wooden doors of the Great Hall opened and as the two Slytherins entered they were greeted by the festive red and green Christmas decorations that covered the walls. A large Christmas tree stood in one corner, its multicoloured lights twinkling in the early morning light that streamed in through the windows. Severus guided Lucius to a seat at the end of the Slytherin table and filled his plate for him. Lucius took the plate silently and set it down on the table. He never ate, Severus knew that. The plate was just for show.

Down near the teachers' tables the student choir sang Christmas carols loudly, the girls at the front and the boys at the back. Each one of them perfect, each one of them happy.

Severus turned and glanced at the Gryffindor table, there, sitting with Sirius, James and Peter was Remus Lupin. The boy was staring into space, his honey hair hanging over his shoulders and his skin far paler than normal. Sirius was talking to him, trying to get a response but none came. Severus looked again at Lucius and then back to Remus. It could never have worked, he knew. But still something inside him wished that it had.

It was at that moment that Remus turned and caught the obsidian eyes of Severus Snape. Astonishment dawned in the amber depths and then his gaze flickered to Lucius who sat beside Severus, his back to Remus. Hurt, pain, sadness and then a tentative kind of joy flashed in the Gryffindor's eyes before he jumped out of his seat. Severus, dreading a confrontation, pulled Lucius rather roughly to his feet.

"Where are we going?" the older boy asked, his silver eyes narrowing.

Severus didn't bother to answer he just kept on walking, pulling Lucius far away from the pain that followed them. They made it to the stairs in the entrance hall when a small voice cried: "Lucius!"

Severus closed his eyes as he looked at the blond haired boy's face. Lucius's ice mask had cracked; a flicker of emotion pushed its way out and swam in the depths of his silver eyes. Slowly Lucius turned, replacing the mask as he did so.

To Remus, the sight of Lucius standing there on the stairs, his long white-gold hair flowing down to his waist; was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. But something was wrong, Remus could tell.

He almost ran to the stairs and grabbed the paler boy's hand. "Lucius," he said. "Lucius, where have you been?"

The blond boy smirked, the expression twisting his pale lips and narrowing his silver eyes. Reaching out a hand he entwined his fingers in Remus's honey hair and pulled him forward until their lips almost touched. Remus almost cried out from the pain of those perfect fingernails digging into his scalp. Confused and upset he looked for reassurance in those silver eyes.

"I'm sorry." Lucius whispered; his breath ghosting over Remus's lips, his scent new and unfamiliar to Remus. Lucius had been with someone else. "But I'm not the Lucius you want. He's gone, and I? I don't care." Then he kissed Remus, roughly and painfully before pushing him backwards down the stairs.

Remus landed in on his back on the floor, crying out in pain. His amber eyes met Lucius's once more, just in time to see a satisfied smirk cross the older boy's face before Lucius turned and walked away up the staircase. Severus watched as the small Gryffindor's face crumpled and tears began to form, tracing paths of diamond down the pale cheeks. He almost reached out to the boy, almost, but then he remembered that he was now a Death Eater too. No Death Eater could ever help anyone.

Turning away he followed Lucius back to the dormitories.

* * *

Lucius stood in front of the fire, the flames turning his hair golden and lighting fires in his eyes. The fire was the only light in the bedroom and Lucius liked it that way. There was only black, only one colour in the night, only one colour inside him, only darkness inside him. That boy, Remus was gone- there was no room for someone like him in Lucius's heart. That heart which was black and frozen. He was to marry Narcissa Black that year when he left school. Marry Narcissa but belong to Voldemort. There was no room for Remus.

Severus stood quite a way back from Lucius, his bony frame leaning against the green coloured wall. "Lucius," he began. "Dumbledore could help us." This was futile he knew, there was no point, Lucius was already gone- he would never be the same. But he, Severus, he desperately didn't want that to happen to him. He desperately wanted help.

Slowly Lucius turned to face him, and angry glint in his eyes. "I don't need help Severus. I'm fine, I'm happy."

Severus almost choked at the older boy's words. Lucius crossed over and stood before him, a fallen angel glowing in the darkness. Lucius's hand snaked out and his fingernails trailed over the younger boy's face, over his cheeks, his lips, his neck.

Severus groaned and slapped the wandering hand away. Lucius moved closer, pressing his thin body against Severus's. "I have Voldemort." He said; his lips half a centimetre away.

Severus closed his eyes. No, he thought. No, Voldemort has you Lucius, don't you see? You did see, once. I have to get out, he thought desperately as Lucius's lips descended roughly on his own. Panicking, Severus tried to push him away but even though Lucius was smaller it was of no use. Roughly he slammed the younger boy back against the wall. Severus tried to scream as Lucius bit his tongue. It hurt, oh lord did it hurt, but Severus felt helpless. As the blood poured out of his mouth Lucius lapped it up and Severus felt sick, sick at what Voldemort had done to Lucius and sick at what Lucius was doing to him. Pale hands began to tear at his robes, reaching to scratch the flesh beneath. "You're mine." Lucius whispered his left hand running lovingly over Severus's Dark Mark.

Severus flinched and then, in a moment of surprising strength and force he turned Lucius around and shoved him hard against the wall. "No," he said. "You're Voldemort's"

Lucius smiled as blood bubbled up over his lips, flicking a serpent tongue out to taste it he giggled. "Yes, yes I am."

In horror and anger Severus stumbled away and ran from the room, leaving the Slytherin dungeons and running through the halls he came to rest in a classroom not far from Gryffindor tower. Leaning over a desk he threw up. There was no God.

* * *

Sirius sat on the floor beside Remus's bed which was currently occupied by the boy himself. Remus had been crying for the last half an hour and Sirius knew why. Lucius was back, Lucius was back and he had hurt Remus. Now Sirius was mad.

"It will be okay." Sirius said, patting the messy head. "You'll see."

Remus let out a strangled cry. "No it won't!" he said. "Why did he do that? How could he do that to me?"

Sirius got up and hugged the crying boy. Remus had been different at the start of the year, now he would never be the same. "I don't know Remus. But I will always be here, if you need me."

Remus raised his head, amber eyes staring into blue ones. "I need you." He breathed, his lips finding their way to Sirius's mouth.

Shocked, Sirius didn't respond, he didn't even push the smaller boy away. But then Remus's hand wound its way into his thick strands of black hair and his tongue forcefully pushed its way into Sirius's mouth. "I need you Sirius." He repeated. Sirius groaned, wasn't this what he'd always wanted? But Remus didn't really want it; he knew that, Remus just wanted something, some kind of reassurance. He knew he should push Remus away, comfort him in some other way but as the smaller boy moaned into his mouth Sirius knew there was no chance of him doing that. Pushing Remus back down onto the unmade bed Sirius took charge.

Later, when Remus was asleep, Sirius threw up in the toilet. He felt used and somehow dirty, he felt Remus had used him, he knew Remus had used him. When Remus had unconsciously cried out: "Lucius!" Sirius had cried, burying his tears in honey hair.

Now he ran out of the Gryffindor dormitories and out the common room. He wandered from hall to hall, his mind polluted by what he had just done, by what Remus had just done. Finally coming to rest in a classroom just outside Gryffindor tower Sirius let out a choked sob. It was then that he noticed the classroom's other occupant; a tearstained Severus Snape, kneeling over his own puke, his robes torn and blood on his face.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Sirius asked, failing to keep the aggression out of his voice.

"I could ask you the same Black." Severus drawled, a crooked smirk appearing on his face. It was then that Sirius saw the Dark Mark, black and burnt into Severus's skin.

"You bastard." Sirius hissed, "What are you? Voldemort's whore?"

"No," Severus whispered, his mouth twisting into an eerie smile. "That would be Lucius. I'm just me...just me."

Then Sirius hit him, punching the Slytherin in the face, stomach, where-ever. And Severus let him, the blows hurt but not as much as other things so he just sat there, drinking in the pain.

Sirius was using Snape as a human punch-bag, all the blows he wanted to land on Remus for using him, Lucius for using Remus and himself for being such a fool. They all came out on Severus and so Sirius continued to hit him, and continued to cry.

(A/N) Okay-the end!!!! I think. I may do one more final chapter if you want. But you have to review and tell me. The ending I have ended up with is completely different than what I had originally planned. The original ending was far happier. But in a few ways I think that this works better. Okay well please review!!!


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